Checking patient at home

Related SMS

1. How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?

In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor: How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not? Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub.... Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use d […]

2. True bravery is to arrive home

True bravery is to arrive home ... fully drunk.. a late night out.. and mom waiting with a jharu in hand and you ask "hey mom, abhi tak jaag rahi ho."

3. Wife came home with a goat.

Wife came home with a goat. Husband asked"Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?" Wife:"Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!" Husband:"Bakri se hi poch raha hon"

4. Kissing ur wife in ur home....

A man to Santa: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour and slapped the man and said: "He's not my friend."

5. When I came home in the rain

When I came home in the rain, My Brother Asked: Why U Didn't take an Umbrella. Sister:(Advised) why didn't U wait till rain stopped. Father(Angrily): Warned! only after getting cold, U will realize. . Mother: while drying my Hair, said, "STUPID RAIN! couldn't it wait, till my child came home." Thats MAA (Mother)

6. Sheikh ki beti ka operation

A sheikh asks for his kidney stones back after surgery and, when pressed, explains exactly why he'd want them. Ek sheikh ki beti ka operation hua Doctor ne kaha pathri nikli hai Sheikh bola lao mujhay do Doctor ne kaha woh kya karo gay Sheikh bola itni mehngi mili hai bechoon ga.

7. Girl checking her weight

A Girl Checks Her Weight = 58kg . Removes Sandal = 56. Then Dupatta = 52 Now Coins Finished....... . . . . A Boy In A Q Behind Her Said Ü Carry On"", I Have Coins!

8. Wife comes home late at night

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two! She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she […]

9. Chances of my recovering?

A doctor's odd way of saying 100% recovery — with fatal statistics behind it. Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor? Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died.

10. Lips pe infection

A woman tells her doctor her lips are infected — the doctor's diagnosis and his reasoning are both fairly unkind. Lady: Doctor mere lips pe infection hogaya hai. Doctor: KISS kitni bar karti ho? Lady: Saal main 1 baar! Doctor: Infection nahi "ZANG" lag gaya hai.

11. Wife ne kuch kaha to nahi?

A husband returns home late after a fight and cheerfully reports that the damage his wife did wasn't as bad as it sounds. 1 admi doston ki mehfil se raat late ghar gaya dosto ne pucha k wife ne kuch kaha to nahi admi bola nahi kuch khas nahi bus ye 2 dant to mai […]

12. Main ullu ka patha ...!

A boy insists on sleeping on the sofa instead of his host's son's room — and deeply regrets his decision come morning. 1 bar ek larka apni door ki aunty k ghar gaya. Usay kafi dair ho gaye, aunty ne kaha beta aaj tum guddu k pass so jao. Larka bola rehne dain bahar sofay […]

13. Cycle ka pedal

A Bihari-dialect joke: a man finds a bicycle pedal on the road, takes it home, and tells his wife they'll get the bicycle to put inside it. Ek Bihari ko Raaste me cycle ka paidal mila aur use uthakar Ghar le aya. Ghar laa kar Biwi ko bola ye sambhal ke rakhde, isme cycle dalwa […]

14. Bush ka "Kutta" bush se roth gaya

Bush's dog decides he's had enough and makes a dramatic political statement while sinking — a slapstick jab at cohabitation and loyalty. Bush ka "Kutta" bush se roth gaya, Ja k ganday nalay main doob gaya, Dobtay howay bola ab aur zulm nahin sahain gay, Eg ghar mai 2 2 nahin rahain gay...:D

15. Roll number kion nazar nahi aaraha

A boy goes to the doctor fearing he's going blind, and the real reason his exam roll number isn't in the newspaper is more embarrassing. Ek larka dr sy lagta hai ma andha ho gya hon Dr. nay uski ankhon ko check kia Or kha nahi beta tmhari ankhein tu theek hain. Larka. Tu phr […]

16. Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa

Munnabhai tells Circuit to fetch the neighbor's doctor because he's unwell. Circuit points out Munnabhai is a doctor. He knows — his own fees are too high. Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai. Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho. […]

17. Tu to ghar ja..!

A Sardar and his son get lost in the jungle — the Sardar beats the boy and delivers advice that only makes sense on very slow reflection. Ek Sardar apnay betay k sath lakriyan kaatnay jangal gaya. Wapsi mein rasta bhool gaya. Sardar ghussay se apne betay ko maarnay laga aur bola: . . . […]

18. Kini waryi phone kita per

Punjabi joke SMS: Sheikh ignores calls because the ringtone he paid thirty rupees for is meant to entertain his father, not callers. MAn 2 Sheikh: Yar Kal main tenu kini waryi Phone kita per tu nahi chukiya Sheikh: kion Chukhan , jerha main 30 Rupaiye thay kar gana luwaya aye, ohnuu tera peo sunaye ga

19. Check returned back

Doc 2 Patient : The check which u gave me has returned back. Patient 2 Doc:The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.

20. Lagta hai pahunch gai

A Hindu man walks home after his wife's cremation; a sudden storm erupts and he nods knowingly — she's arrived. Aik hindu apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar k ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, zor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai

21. Mujhe sardar bana do

Man asks to be made a sardar; doctor removes 90% of his brain by accident; man wakes up and speaks only in English. Admi:Mujhe sardar bana do Doc: uske liye tumhara 50% dimagh nikalna parega Admi: OK Doctor ne ghalti se 90% nikal dia. Admi hosh mein aa k bola: Khocha ye tumne kia kar […]

22. Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar ke

Dark situational humor: a grieving widower walks home from his wife's cremation and interprets a sudden thunderstorm as confirmation she made it. Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar ke, Ghar ja raha tha ke achanak bijli, Chamki, Badal garje, Zor se barish(rain) shuru hoi, Aadmi bola lagta hai pahunch gai.

23. Dil k operation ko byepass kion kehtay hain?

Wordplay on heart bypass surgery: BYPASS = PASS if it works, BYE if it doesn't. Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kion kehtay hain? Kion k agar operation theek ho gaya to PASS warna Hamesha ke liye BYE!

24. A sardarji Doctor falls in love

A Sardar doctor writes a love letter to a nurse but the closing salutation makes clear that professional habit got the better of him. A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse. He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

25. Doctor, medicine & pathan

A doctor prescribes syrup three times daily, but a Pathan has a simpler objection than most patients would. Doctor: Ye syrup 2 spoon subha, 2 dopahar, 2 raat ko, 3 din tuk lena hay Pathan:apna dawai apna pas rakho hamara ghar me itna chamach(spoon) nahi hy.

26. Doctor advised to rest for 1 month

Wife says the doctor prescribed rest in some foreign country; husband's immediate suggestion is to find another doctor. Wife: suno ji doctor Ne mujhe aik maheenay k araam k liye beautiful foreign country janay ko kaha hai. Hum kahan jayen gay? Husband: doosray doctor k paas

27. 1 ghar main twins paida howay

Mother-in-law's take on twins: children are now too scared to face Pakistan's problems alone, so they arrive in pairs. 1 Ghar mein TWINS paida huwe to saas ne kaha: mubarik ho! bhala bataao.. hamare pakistan ki halat daikh kar bache bhi duniya mein akele ane se darte hain.

28. Bana gulab to kantay chubha gaya aik shakhs

Bana gulab to kantay chubha gaya aik shakhs, Hua chiragh to ghar hi jala gaya aik shakhs, Tamam rang meray aur saray khuwab meray, Fasanay thay k fasana bana gaya aik shakhs, Mein kis hawa main uron kis fiza mein lehraon, Dukhon key jaal her su bicha gaya aik shakhs, Mohabbaton nay kisi ki bhula […]

29. Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura Liya

Patient tells a nurse she stole his heart; she corrects him — she only took his kidney. Patient to Nurse: ¢â‚¬ËI Love You¢â‚¬â¢ Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura Liya”. NURSE : “chal jhoota , . . Mene to sirf tumhaari Kidney churai hai”

30. Santa k ghar main talaab ka pani

Classic Santa-Banta format: someone rushes to tell Santa his house is flooded; Santa says impossible because he has the key. 1 banda bhahta howa aata hay aur Santa se kehta hai bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay. Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay, ghar ki chabi to meray paas […]

31. We were using duplicate key

Man:Doctor ! My Son has swallowed a key. Doctor: When ? Man:Three Months Ago Doctor: What were you doing till now? Man: We were using duplicate key

32. 1 makhi ki halat bohat kharab

A fly visits the doctor after falling into tea — a Memon sucked on it so enthusiastically the fly is in a terrible state. 1 makhi ki halat bohat kharab thi wo doctor k paas gayai! Doctor: kiya howa? Makhi: Bus chai main gir gayai thi ek "MEMON" nay choos choos ker bura haal ker […]

33. Pathan apna rishta dekhnay gia

Pathan at a marriage meeting asks how many brothers the girl has; she says she had three but now has four (odd reply, no explanation). Pathan ghar walon k sath apna rishta dekhne gaya Ghar walon ne kaha donon ko akela chor do Pathan:behan g ap k kitne bhai hain? Girl:pehlay 3 thy ab 4 […]