Santa Banta SMS / Text Messages

Simply a hilarious collection of santa banta sms jokes / text messages.

Santa k ghar main talaab ka pani

Classic Santa-Banta format: someone rushes to tell Santa his house is flooded; Santa says impossible because he has the key.

1 banda bhahta howa aata hay
aur Santa se kehta hai
bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main
talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.

Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay:D:D

Santa and his wife in office

Santa discovers his wife sitting on the boss's lap during dictation and decides to quit — for a surprisingly oblivious reason.

Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.

Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.

T.V kion nahin lay gaya ?

Police ask Santa why the thief didn't steal the TV; Santa says because he was sitting watching it at the time.

Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor mere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye

Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??

Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..

Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?

A Santa joke where asking for a color TV at a shop leads to a request so literal that it stumps the shopkeeper entirely.

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks,
'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'

'Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

Yeh to aam ka pair hai.

Banta climbs a mango tree expecting to find apples, and the monkey who corrects him only adds to the absurdity when Banta explains his plan.

Banta pair pey charha to upar baithey
Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka pair hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

LIPTON di chah hai?

A Santa-Banta wordplay joke where a simple question about Lipton tea leads to a cheeky misinterpretation that has nothing to do with the beverage.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!

Taklu rooz saloon kion jata hay ?

A Santa-Banta riddle asking why a bald man visits the barber every single day — the punchline flips the question entirely.

Santa taklu He
phir bhi roz saloon jata hay,
Why ???

Kion k

(more…)

Tumhari galat fahami hai

Jeeto catches Santa swearing at her in his sleep, and Santa's defense of the accusation ends up being worse than the original complaint.

Jeeto: Kal raat um mujhey neend main gaaliyan day rahay thay?
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.

Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao

A Santa classroom joke where a translation exercise turns into a comically literal and rhythmically inventive English sentence.

Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao,
usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...

Santa, Kachha and parosan

A cheeky Santa laundry joke where hanging underwear next to the neighbor's clothes leads to a request that sounds worse than it actually is.

Santa ne kachha dho k
padosan ki shalvar k paas sukhne daal diya,
Aur awaz di Bhabi ji,
Jab tum salvar utarogi to mujhe awaz de dena
mai bhi kachha utar lunga.

Cut workload by 50%

Salesman:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.

Santa:That is great,
I will take two of them:p