News reporter & pathan

Related SMS

1. 100 pathan aik kashti

A hundred Pathans are on a stuck boat and decide the best plan is to get out and push — from outside. 100 pathan aik kashti me sawar thay k achanak kashti ruk gai . . . or . . . sab doob gaye, kaisay? . . . pathan thay na sub, dhakka deney utar […]

2. Pathan apna rishta dekhnay gia

Pathan at a marriage meeting asks how many brothers the girl has; she says she had three but now has four (odd reply, no explanation). Pathan ghar walon k sath apna rishta dekhne gaya Ghar walon ne kaha donon ko akela chor do Pathan:behan g ap k kitne bhai hain? Girl:pehlay 3 thy ab 4 […]

3. Good / bad news after wife accident

A man received d phone from emergency room of hospital Doctor: Your wife was in a fatal car accident & I've bad n good news. The bad news is, She has lost both arms n legs n will b on a respirator d rest of her life. Man: 0h my God, whats the good news? […]

4. Air hostess pathan se

A Pathan on a flight asks for his chai with a taweez (amulet); the air hostess clarifies: it's just a tea bag. Air hostess pathan se: Sir aap kia lena pasand karainge? Pathan: Mere lea TAWEEZ wali chai lao. Airhostess:Sir woh taweez nahi TEA BAG hai .... :)

5. Good news for Karachi University students

Congratulations! Good news for Karachi University students Exams of Uni have been postponed upto june To confirm goto site www.stop dreaming & start studying.com

6. Pathan ko dost ne khanay pe bulaya

A Pathan arrives at a locked door with a taunting note from his friend and comes up with the ideal written response. Pathan ko dost ne khanay pe bulaya pathan jub aya to ghar pe tala laga tha or likha tha bewaqoof banay tumko, Pathan ne Hoshiyari dikhai or niche likh dia, "Hum tu aaya […]

7. 1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya

A Pathan joke built on a simple mix-up about the word 'abu' (father). 1 Pathan Bap Ki Death Par Bohat Roya Phir Uski Behan Ka phone Aya, Pathan Or B ziada Rone Laga. Logon Ne Pucha,kya hua? Pathan: Meri Bahan K Abu Ka B Intiqal Ho Gya

8. Shadi me 1 pathan

Pathan eats for hours at a wedding banquet; explains he had no choice — the invitation card said 'Dinner 7 to 10 PM.' Shadi me 1 pathan bohut dair tuk khana kha raha tha, kisi ne pocha kab tuk khao gay? Pathan:me to khud kha-kha k dukhi hon, per kia karon card me likha tha […]

9. 1 pathan ko khali msg aaya

Pathan receives a blank SMS, calls back, and politely warns the sender that their mobile's ink has run out. 1 pathan ko khali msg aaya Pathan ne usi mobile number per call ker k kaha ! ! ! ! Woy yaara! Tumko malum hay? tumhara mobile ki siyahi khatam ho gaya hy!

10. Parrot bola pathan

A Pathan walks through town with a parrot on his shoulder; when asked what creature it is, the parrot speaks first. Aik pathan apnay kandhay per aik Pakistani totay (parrot) ko bitha ker jaa raha tha.. Kisi nay pocha:"Yeh kon sa janwar hai?" tota(parrot) bola: "PATHAN"

11. 1 pathan ki mout bijli girne se hoi!.

A Pathan dies smiling when lightning strikes — his last thought makes perfect sense once you hear it. 1 pathan ki mout bijli girne se hoi!. Per uski laash haste hue mili, Farishton ne pocha aisa kion? Pathan:Hum samjha koi hamara photo kheench raha hai :p

12. Pathan bola "ZINDAB BAAD!!"

A Pathan joins a funeral procession, mishears the prayer, and shouts 'Long Live!' at entirely the wrong moment. 1 jinaza ja raha tha bohut say log sath ja rahay thay 1 pathan bhi janazay k sath mil gia kisi nay kaha kalma-e-shihadat pathan bola "ZINDAB BAAD!!"

13. 1 pathan ka sir phat gaya

Pathan splits his own head hammering a nail with a rock because someone told him to use his khopri (skull) as a tool. 1 pathan ka sir phat gaya pathan se Dr. ne pocha:- "khan sahab kia howa ?" Khan:Hum pather se keel thok raha tha, hum ko 1 admi bola khan KHOPRI istimal kero:p

14. 1 pathan aero plane mein

Pathan grabs the pilot's headphones mid-flight — he paid for the ticket, so why should the pilot get the music to himself? 1 pathan aero plane me pilot say headphone cheen leta hai. Pilot says! yeh kia ker rahe ho? Pathan says: Ticket ka paisa hum bhare aur gana tum akela suney:p

15. Pathan ki mangni hoi

A Pathan breaks off his engagement after learning his fiancée had no prior affairs — if no one else wanted her, he figures, why should he. Pathan ki mangni hoi, usey pata chala k uski mangaiter ka kisi se koi affair nahi tha, us nay yeh keh ker mangni tor di k jo kisi aur […]

16. Doctor, medicine & pathan

A doctor prescribes syrup three times daily, but a Pathan has a simpler objection than most patients would. Doctor: Ye syrup 2 spoon subha, 2 dopahar, 2 raat ko, 3 din tuk lena hay Pathan:apna dawai apna pas rakho hamara ghar me itna chamach(spoon) nahi hy.

17. Pathan darwaza open ker k washroom jata

Pathan always leaves the washroom door open; explains he suspects someone is watching him through the gap at the bottom. Aik pathan jub bhi wash room jata to darwaza khol kar jata. Kisi ne wajah pochi to us ne bataya k usey shak hai k darwaze k neecay wale soorah se use koi dekhta hai

18. A pathan said to his friend

A Pathan self-roast about bathing habits — told with unintentional honesty. A pathan said to his friend: "mujhy smajh nahi aati k log maheena maheena kaisy nhi nahatay? Mujhy to 28vein din kharish hona shuru ho jati hai".

19. Pathan's wife bought sweater

Pathan's wife bought a Beautiful sweater for her husband... She sent it to him by parcel Along with a note ... That said "the buttons of d sweater r removed Since they were too heavy & added To the postage. U'll find 'em In d right hand pocket of the sweater"

20. 1 pathan airhostess se

Sardar tells the air hostess she looks just like his wife; she slaps him; he says: same habit too. 1 sardar airhostess se, "Aapki shakal meri biwi si bohut milti hai!" Hostess ne zordar thappar us k mun pe mara.. sardar forun bola:"Adat bhi bohut milti hai"

21. Qaatil kise kehtay hain ?

A teacher asks a Pathan what a murderer is called, using the example of killing one's own father. Pathan's answer sidesteps the vocabulary entirely. Teacher 2 pathan: Qaatil kise kehtay hain ? Pathan: Pata nahi, Teacher: agar tum apnay baap ko qatal ker do to tum kia kehlao gay? Pathan: YATEEM

22. Gun main nay chupa di thi

A Sardar gets robbed at knifepoint and a friend asks why he didn't use his gun — the explanation involves practical thinking about what else might get stolen. Sardar: Raat mujhe ek aadmi ne chaku dikhakar loot liya. Friend:Lekin tere pas to hamesha Gun hoti hai. Sardar:Wo maine chupa di thi, warna wo bhi chori […]

23. 14 August ki namaz kahan ho gi?

A Pathan asks an elder a completely innocent question about Independence Day prayers — gets two slaps before anyone can clarify. 1 pathan ne 1 buzrug se kuch pocha, Buzrug ne 2 thapar laga diye 1 admi ne pathan se pocha, tumne kia bola tha..?? Pathan:Maine sirf pocha k 14 August ki namaz kahan ho […]

24. Beech road pe bus rok di

A policeman asks a Pathan why he stopped the bus in the middle of the road — the Pathan had a sign to follow. Policeman: tum ne Beech road pe bus q rok di ??? Pathan: hum sheher me Naya aya hay mgr Qanoon nahi torta, Wo samne dekho likha hy "bus stop" Tou hum […]

25. Thakanpur se fresh nagar

A funny Roman Urdu good night styled as an official train announcement for the Nindiya Express, now boarding at Platform Bedfoam. Thakanpur se fresh nagar janey wali Nindiya Express bedfoam pe khari hay, Ap se guzarish hay k apne qeemti sapnay sath le ker sawaar ho jayen. "Good Night"

26. Dil ki dhadkanain sunain kaisay

Dil ki dhadkanain sunain kaisay, Hum apne dil ka haal batain kaisay, Dil hai jis k liye dewana, Use hum apna banain kaisay, Apney bhi aab paraye lagte hai, Hum apne pyaar is zalim dunia se chupa'ain kaisay.

27. aap to anmol ho hamare liyay

Kitne aziz ho aap ye batain kaisay, hamari sadgi aapko dikhain kaisay, aap to anmol ho hamare liyay, chand lafzo ke sms se apko samjhayain kaisay?

28. Hum say door jao gay kaisay?

Hum say door jao gay kaisay? Dil say hamain bhulao gay kaisay? Hum to woh khushbo hain jo, sanson k zariye dil mein utar jati hay. Khud ki sanson ko rook pao gay kaisay?

29. Khat mily ya na mily

A Pathan's wedding invitation includes an unusual clause for people who don't receive it in time. pathan: me ne khat likha tha k meri shadi per ana. tum q nahi aye. 2nd pathan: mujhe khat mila he nahi 1st pathan: me ne likha tha k khat mily ya na mily tum zaror ana.:-)

30. How is the situation

Husband wanted to call the hospital to ask about his pregnant wife, but accidently called the cricket stadium. He asks, "How's the situation?" He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply. They said, "It's fine. 3 are out, hope to get another 7 out by lunch, last one was a duck!"..:-P

31. Kia ap ne suna hay?

Funny Roman Urdu Eid SMS styled as a breaking news item across every TV channel — the big announcement being simply 'Eid Mubarak'. Kya Aap ne suna hai..? BBC per CNN per PTV per ARY per GEO per nahi suna..! FM 100 per tou suna ho ga..! Ager phir bhi nahi suna to Ab Parh […]

32. Pathar se dosti, Jaan ko khatra.

A funny Roman Urdu good night running through the dangers of befriending stones, Pathans, alcohol, and finally the sender — all equally hazardous. Pathar se dosti, Jaan ko khatra. Pathan se dosti, Demag ko khatra. Daru se dosti, Liver ko khatra. Hum se dosti, raat be raat SMS ka khatra.

33. Door ka Bhai

A Pathan explains how he and someone are distant brothers — it turns out thirteen other siblings are the distance between them. Pathan : yeh mera door ka bhai hai.. Man: door ka me samjha nahii Pathan: es ke aur hamare darmiyan 13 behn bhai hein..