Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
A child asks his pregnant mother what's inside her belly — then wonders why she ate it if the baby was so nice.
Ek chotta baccha apni pregnant
mummy se puchta hai: isme kya hai.
Mummy: isme ek chota baby hai.
baccha: agar baby itna hi
acha tha to kha kyun gayi.
A baby monkey asks its mother why it's so ugly — mom says be grateful, and points the real insult at whoever's reading the message.
aik bandar ka bacha apni maan say:
maa main itna badsurat kyon hoon
maa beta khuda ka shukar karo aur,
usay dheko jo message pardh raha hai
A poetic build-up about loneliness — no one near, invisible to all — then reveals you must just be in the bathroom.
Jab tanhai ka ehsas ho
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Na koi tumharay paas ho
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Na tum kisi ki nazar main ho,
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Na koi tumhari nazar main ho,
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Tu samajh laina k tum
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BATHROOM main ho :p
Wife confronts husband about the insults he muttered in his sleep; his defence is that she misunderstood — that he was asleep.
Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai?
Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..
Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha
Slow build-up asking what happens when a lion roars three times — the anticlimactic answer: Tom & Jerry starts on TV.
Jab lion 3 bar dharta hai to kia hota hai ?
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Batao kia hota hay ?
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Nahin malum?
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Abay nalaiq Tom & Jerry Shuru hota hay..
A doctor's simple advice to boil the baby's water before giving it leaves a Sardar genuinely worried about the child's survival.
Doctor: Bachey ko paani
dene se pehle boil ker
lena chahiye ...
Sardar: Lekin Janab
Boil karne se bacha
marr tou nahi jaye ga...
A wife in an argument tells her husband his brain is full of cow dung, and his comeback is completely deadpan.
Biwi(Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!
Husband (Pyar Se):
To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho….??
Husband asks wife who she is; when she protests he'd forgotten her, he says alcohol erases every sorrow.
Husband - tum kon hoo
Biwi - pagal hogay kiya apni Biwi koo bhol gaye
HUSBAND - nasha her gham bhola deta hai
A fake-deep SMS that dangles 'life is a puzzle' then tells you to stop scrolling — pressing buttons won't solve anything.
Zindagi aik ajeeb paheli hai.
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?
?
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Keypad dabana bas karo..isey dabane se solve nahi ho gi
A short revenge curse in Roman Urdu: the punchline is wishing the person severe stomach trouble with nowhere to go.
tumhare diay huy gham ki tumhain aisi saza mile,
tumko (motion) lagain aur tumko karne ki kahee jaga na mile..
A teenage boy turns down a comfortable room out of propriety, meets an attractive girl in the morning, and realizes too late who she is.
A 16 Year Old Boy Went To Drop An Unknown Aunty Ji To Her Home.
Aunty: Beta, Raat Bahut Ho Gai Hai, Yahi So Jao, Bittu Ke Room Me
Boy: Nahi Aunty Ji, Mai Guest Room Mein So Jaunga
Next Day A Beautiful Girl Comes With A Cup Of Milk
Boy: Aap Kaun?
Girl: Ji, Main Bittu Or Aap?
Boy: Main, Ullu Ka Pattha..!!
Sardar lists every possible life problem for God to send him — God interrupts and tells him to just say he wants a wife.
Sardar: bhagwan mujhey
dard day dukh day
tension day mujhey barbaad ker day,
meray peechay bhoot laga day.
Bhagwan: abay salay
aik line main bool biwi chahiye