Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
A child overhears dad say all the 'fireworks' are in the girls hostel — and repeats it innocently while shopping for Diwali crackers.
Child: Mom is bar hum sare patakhe is shop se lenge.
Mom: lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai.
Child: Papa to kehte hain k sari phul-jhariyan yahi rehti hain...
Nihilistic student SMS: why study? You die anyway, and if you're reborn, you'll start from nursery again. So just enjoy.
Parh likh kar kya karna hai,
Akhir 1 din sabko marna hai,
Mar kar bhi agar janam liya,
to phir sala nursery say hi to parhna hai !!
So enjoY!!
Santa (Sardar joke) is crying at a bar — he wants to forget a girl but can't remember her name, so forgetting is impossible.
Santa bar me ro raha tha.
Bartender: Kyo ro rahe ho?
Santa: Aur kya karu??
Jis ladki ko bhulana chahta hun
uska naam hi yaad nahi aata.
Sardar tears off a fly's wings and tells it to fly; when it doesn't, he concludes flies without wings simply can't hear.
Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr ja.
But..
makhi nahin uri,
Sardar ne kaha,
Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diye
jain to makhi sun nahin sakti
A playful SMS about style — fish swims, birds fly, the sender texts differently — and the real punchline is that reading it for free is your style.
Paani me tairna machli ka style,
Hawa me udna paanchi ka style;
Different sms bhejna apunka style,
fukat me sms parhna aapka style.
A Bihari-dialect joke: a man finds a bicycle pedal on the road, takes it home, and tells his wife they'll get the bicycle to put inside it.
Ek Bihari ko Raaste me
cycle ka paidal mila
aur use uthakar Ghar le aya.
Ghar laa kar Biwi ko bola
ye sambhal ke rakhde,
isme cycle dalwa lenge.
Sardar is asked what he'd do if he felt hot — sit near the AC; still hot? Turn it on. Deadpan logic joke.
Ek sardar se kissi ne poocha k
sardar ji agar app ko garmi lagy to app kya karo gay?
Sardar: jenab hum a.c k pass ja k beth jain gay.
Admai: agar phir bhi appko garmi lagy to kya karo gay?
Sardar: jenab tab hum a.c on kar lain gay.
Opens like a swooning romantic SMS about getting lost in someone's hair — derailed because they've applied so much oil he keeps slipping.
Teri zulfo mein kho jaana chahata hoon...?
Par tu tel hi itna lagati hai ki har bar fisal jata hoon..
One-liner marriage joke: marriage is essential in life — because life isn't all happiness, so you might as well guarantee some misery.
Zindagi me sHaDi karna bahut zaroori hai..
Kyon ki..?
Zindagi mein Khushiyaan hee sab kuch nahi hoti..
A Munnabhai-Circuit exchange: Circuit hides his chain collection before an old friend visits — not because the friend's a thief, but because he'd recognize his own chains.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera saray chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI :
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT :
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
Looks like a romantic 'we kept stealing glances at each other' story — the twist is they were cheating off each other in the exam hall.
Wo mud mud k Hame dekh rhe the,aur hum unhe..
Wo mud mud k hame dekh rhe the,aur hum unhe..
Kyoki exam me na unhe kuch ata tha aur na hame...
A teasing SMS quoting a philosophical line about what you bring into the world, then flipping it into a dig about someone avoiding SMS costs.
Kya lekar aaya tha?
Kya lekar jayega?
Mujhe SMS na karke Zalim
Tu kitnay Chillar bachayega .....