SMS / Text Messages

Larki ki maa mang lon:p

A father teaches his son to keep escalating dowry demands — and the son pushes the logic one step further than expected.

Baap: beta shadi k din susral walay
ghari dein tu suit mang lena.
Scooter dein tu car mang lena,
dokan dien tu ghar

beta: dady larki dein tu oski maa mang lon?

Meri or shahrukh khan ki same adat

Claims to share one exact habit with Shah Rukh Khan: neither of them ever texts the other.

Meri

Or

“Shahrukh khan”
ki 1 hi adat same hai.

Guess, what?
?
?
?
Na me usay SMS karta hon,
na wo mujhey SMS kerta hay :p

Roza rakho gay?

A Sikh tests a Pathan on Ramadan observance — fasting no, taraweeh prayers no, but iftari absolutely yes. Not that kafir.

Sikh: Roza Rakho Ge?
Pathan: Nahi
Sikh: Acha To Taraveeh To Paroogay?
Pathan: Mushkil Hai
Sikh: Acha To Phir Iftari B Nahi Karoogay…
Pathan: Yaraa…Ab Ham Itna B Kafir Nahi He….

Aik baat bataon raaz ki

A long list of ideal-girl qualities in Roman Urdu — modest, fresh, moonlit, fragrant, well-mannered, punctual in prayer — ending with a wink about 'only yours.'

aik baat bataon raaz ki
karo us larki sey asshqi
jis k chehre pey ho sadgi
sanso main ho taazgi
chandni ho chand kee
raani ho wo raat ki
khushboo ho gulab ki
batain karay pyar ki
nazuk ho mizzajj ki
achy ho ikhlaq ki
paband ho namaz ki
khidmat karay ma bap ki
aur kahay
main hon sirf aap ki…:p

Muhabat Karo Ibadat K Sath

Four lines of sincerely written advice about love, friendship, and honesty — followed by a direct order to reply properly.

Muhabat Karo Ibadat K Sath
Piar Karoo Sachai K Sath
Dosty Karo Dianat K Sath

SMS Parh Lia???

Chalu Ab Reply Karoo
Sharafat K Sath

Thandi he coffee garam karloo

Coffee is cold, inbox is empty — a nudge disguised as a romantic SMS asking the receiver to just reply already.

Thandi he coffee garam karloo,
Is pathar dil ko thoda sa naram karlo,

Aapke hote hoe inbox khali hai,
Abey thori c to sharam karloo…..

Apun ko maloom hai k tum wahi milega

Given a choice between heaven and hell at God's gate, the sender picks hell — because that's where the recipient will be.

God apun se bola
khidhar jane ka
jannat ya dozakh?
Apun bola dozakh
u know apun aisa q bola?
Because
apun ko maloom hai k tum wahi milega…..

Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthe ga?”

Two men at neighboring graves: one leaves flowers, one leaves rice. The flower-man asks when the rice-man's friend will wake up to smell his offering.

Ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par phool daal raha hota hai.

Aur brabar mein bhi, ek aadmi apne dost
ki kabar par chawal daal raha hota hai.

Pehla aadmi doosre se kehta hai,
“Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthe ga?”

Doosra aadmi,
“Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga.”

Indian film names if we replace dil with egg

What Bollywood film titles would look like if 'dil' (heart) were replaced with 'anda' (egg) — Hum Aanda De Chuke Sanam and several others.

Agar "Dil" ko aanda(egg) kehtey
to indian films k naam aisay hote

Hum Aanda de chuke sanam,
Yeh aanda aapka huwa,
Hum aap k aanday main rehte hain,
Aandy waale Bread le jayienge....

Baap pe gaya hai THAPAR hi khayega

A mother cycles through every food she can think of and the child refuses all of them. Final verdict: you take after your father, you're getting a slap.

Mom: Beta khana khayega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Ladu khaiyega??
Beta: Na
Mom: Mithai Khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom:ice creame khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Baap pe gaya hai THAPAR hi khayega!

14 August ki namaz kahan ho gi?

A Pathan asks an elder a completely innocent question about Independence Day prayers — gets two slaps before anyone can clarify.

1 pathan ne 1 buzrug se kuch pocha,
Buzrug ne 2 thapar laga diye

1 admi ne pathan se pocha,
tumne kia bola tha..??

Pathan:Maine sirf pocha k
14 August ki namaz kahan ho gi?