Hindi SMS section
Opens with poetic imagery of flowers and the sun sending greetings — then reveals it was actually the electricity company sending the darkness and heat.
Pholon ne amrit ka jaam bheja hai,
Sooraj nay gagan se salam bheja hai,
Mubarak ho aap ko yeh andhaira or garmi,
Tah-e-dil se "K.E.S.C" / wapda walon na ye paigham bheja hai
A witch stops a Sardar in a jungle and announces what she is. Sardar says he knows — one of them lives at his house.
A sardar passing through a jungle.
A churail stops him & says:
HOO HOO HA HA,Main churail hoon.
Sardar: janta hoon teri ek behan
mere ghar main bhi hai.
Claims you know nothing of sorrow or heartbreak — because you've always licked envelopes shut rather than sealing them with tears.
Tumhain kia pata gum kia hai,
Tumhain kia pata gum kisay kehtay hain,
Tum kia jano gum kia chiz hai,
Tum nay to hamesha
.
.
.
thook se hi envolope chipkaya hay :-) hehee
Encourages a friend to write poetry like the sender — people throw eggs and tomatoes, which at least solves the dinner problem.
Ae dost tu bhi likha kar shayri...
Meri tarah tera bhi naam ho jayega,
log phainkaingay anday tematar,
To raat ki sabzi ka intezaam ho jayega
A list of superhuman feats — climbing trees, fetching magic herbs, splitting a chest — ending with: looking like a monkey doesn't make you Hanuman.
Kya tum pairr pe char sakte ho,
kya sanjivani buti la sakte ho,
kya sina cheer k dikha sakte ho,
nahi na,
beta kewal shakal bandar jaisi
hone se koi Hanuman nai hota.
Two vows taken today: never look at other girls, and never treat any girl as a stranger. They cancel each other out completely.
Aaj maine 2 qasam khai hain
1)Kisi bhi parayi larki pey nazar nahi dalunga
Aur
2) Kisi bhi ladki ko paraaya nahi samjhunga….
Grandfather asks his grandson to bring his false teeth from inside — not because food is ready, but to smile at the old lady across the street.
Dada: Puter ander sey merey dant tu ley aa,
Beyta: Mager dada g roti tu abhe bani nhe,
Dada: ohh nhee! beyta samney wali Budhi nu smile deyni hai
A friend's face described feature by feature in vegetable terms — lips like okra, cheeks like tomato, the whole face like cauliflower.
Lips Bhindi ki tarha,
Gaal Tamatar ki tarha,
Eyes Matar ki tarha,
Poora Face Gobih ki tarha,
Ya Allah Ek hi Dost diya,
Wo bhi Subzi Mandi ki tarha!!!
Yash Johar is reportedly casting for a new film and someone suggested your name. The movie is called 'Aqal Ho Na Ho' (Whether You Have Brains Or Not).
Yash Johar is producing a new film,
And is searching 4 new talent.
I¢â‚¬â¢ve suggested ur name.
Pls go & meet him.
The movie¢â‚¬â¢s name is
“AQAL HO NA HO”
Four blessings listed like a prayer or good-wishes message — then the twist that you've memorized your begging bowl speech perfectly.
1.Allaha teri umar lambi karey
2.Allaha tujhy naukri de
3.Allaha tujhy khoush rakhe
4.Allaha tujhy barkat de
Yad ho gaya?
Aab chal “KATORI” utha aur shuru ho ja.
Attributed to Veena Malik: marital advice for when your wife isn't in the mood that turns out to be surprisingly practical.
Agr Aadhi Raat Ko Shoher Ka Dil Kare
Aor B.V Ka Mood Na Ho To,
.
.
.
Shohar Ko Chahye K
Wo B V Ko Tang Na Kre,
.
.
.
Bal K Khud Uth K Pani Pee Le... =P
"Veena Malik K Mind Testing Totke"
A man on an unfamiliar phone agrees to every luxury purchase his wife proposes — then wonders who the phone belongs to.
4 Dost bathe the, Table pe rakhe Mobiles me se 1 bja.
Man: Hello
BV: Jan I'm in Market, kya me 100,000 ka jewellry set le lon?
Man: Han jan lelo
BV: Silk sarhi b jo 20,000 ki hy?
Man: 1 sarhi nahi 2-4 lo
BV: Ok Dear tumhara Credit Card mere pas hy ushi se le rahi hon
Man: Han theek hy
Sare Dost bole: Tu Pagal hy ya tuje charh gai hy.Ya tu hume Nicha dikha raha he k to BV ko kitna chahta hy
Man: Wo sab choro Ye batao ye Mobile kis ka hai.