Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
A stoner donates his eyes; his post-surgery message to the recipient: these eyes only open after two drags.
1 charsi eyes donate kerne gaya,
After operation,
Dr. Asks:
Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Charsi:jisko bhi ankhen lagao
use bata dena
ye 2 kash laganay
k baad he khulti hain:D
Fake breaking news: police hunting for an attractive person — relax, you're neither human nor good-looking, so you're safe.
NEWS ALERT!
Police 1 insan ko talash ker rahi hai
jo bohut beautiful hai,
tum mut ghabrana Q k
na to tum insan ho na beautiful,
problem ye hai k mein kahan chupon
Pathan at a marriage meeting asks how many brothers the girl has; she says she had three but now has four (odd reply, no explanation).
Pathan ghar walon k sath apna rishta dekhne gaya
Ghar walon ne kaha donon ko akela chor do
Pathan:behan g ap k kitne bhai hain?
Girl:pehlay 3 thy ab 4 ho gaye hain.!
Same lie-detecting robot joke as above — robot slaps son, father, and then mother in sequence for each lie told.
1 parents apnay betay k liye aisa
robot laye jo jhoot bolnay per thapar marta hay.
Son:Abu aj mei bemar hon school nahi jaonga
Chatakh!
Baap:tumne jhot bola, me jub tumhare
jitna tha kabhi jhoot nahin bolta tha
Chatakh!
Mom:Kia howa?
Baap:Yeh chintu jhoot bolta hai
MoM:Zahir hy apka hi beta hay..
Chatakh…!!!:-)
Husband excitedly tells wife about the girl in his dream; wife calmly says she knew — because his wife's husband was in her dream.
Husband: Kal mere khawab main ek larki aye thi.
Wah! Kia Larki thee!
Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?
Husband: Tum ko kese pata?
Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab main aya tha!
A lie-detecting robot slaps the son for faking illness, slaps the father for claiming he never lied, then slaps the mother too.
1 parents apnay betay k liye aisa
robot laye jo jhoot bolnay per thapar marta hay.
Son:Abu aj mei bemar hon school nahi jaonga
Chatakh!
Baap:tumne jhot bola, me jub tumhare
jitna tha kabhi jhoot nahin bolta tha
Chatakh!
Mom:Kia howa?
Baap:Yeh chintu jhoot bolta hai
MoM:Zahir hy apka hi beta hay..
Chatakh...!!!:-)
Poetic lament about growing weak from separation — so weak a mosquito managed to carry off the entire bed.
Itne kamzor ho gaye teri judai se,
Wah wah wah?
arz kia he
Itne kamzor ho gaye teri judai se,
k 1 din machar hi utha le gaya charpai se
Inbox-shaming SMS: inbox empty all morning, asking friends if they have at least a little bit of shame left.
Thandi Hai Coffee Garam Karlo
Is Pathar DilKo Thora Sa Naram Karlo
Morning Time se Inbox Khali Hai Mera
Thori Si to Yaro Sharam Karlo
Kid is told off for saying 'Baap idhar aa' — so he politely revises it to 'Baap, izzat se idhar aa' (Dad, respectfully come here).
Boy to father: “Baap idhar aa”.
Mother:”Aise nahin bolte beta,
Daddy ko izzat se bulate hai”
Boy: “Baap, izzat se idhar aa!”.
Patient tells a nurse she stole his heart; she corrects him — she only took his kidney.
Patient to Nurse: ¢â‚¬ËI Love You¢â‚¬â¢
Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura Liya”.
NURSE : “chal jhoota ,
.
.
Mene to sirf tumhaari
Kidney churai hai”
A suicide bomber's device fails; he wakes up in hospital and asks the nurse where his promised houris are.
Khudkash bombar ne
bomb ka button dabaya lekin
dhamaka nahin huwa or wo behosh ho gaya.
Jab hospital me hosh aya
or Nurse ko dekha to bola,
Baqi horain kahan hain ?
Man complains life is worse than death; an angel immediately appears — man backtracks hard and says he was joking.
Aik admi:is zindagi se tu mout achi
Achanak aik farishta aya aur kaha
tumhari jan lene ka hukum hua hai
Admi: ye lo yahan per tu
mazaq bhi nahin ker sakte!