Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
A cleric collects mosque donations from a film actor whose money is 'haram' — says they'll build the bathroom with it.
1 molvi film actor k pas
masjid ka chanda mangne gaya..
Actor:ap log to kehte hain
k hamara paisa haram hai
Molvi:G, ap k paiso se
ham "BATHROOM" banainge..:P
Heaven celebrated wildly when you were born — the angels were relieved their problems were finally someone else's.
Jab ap paida howay,
Tab akash se phool barsay,
Parion ne jashan kia,
Farishton ne ghee k chiragh jalae,
or bolay
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.
.
.
Hamari jan chuti
Ab duniya walay bhugtain gay
An absurdly ornate Urdu sentence in flowery classical register that ultimately just says: you haven't texted me in ages.
Khaksaar k dil-e-mohtareeq-o-dimagh-e-muntasher
main ye khadsha-o-andesha mohtashi-o-moqaid hai,
k kaheen biradar-e-muhtaram-o-izzat-e-maa-aab
banda-e-ranjeeda-o-sanjeeda se khafa-o-naraz to nahi,
k arsa-e-daraz se biradar-e-faatir-ul-aqal ne band-e-haqir-o-faqir
ko koi SMS nahin kia hai...!!!
An escalating catastrophe poem: every misfortune is made worse by the next — hospital closed, ambulance empty, bomb under the bed.
Aray hamain to apnon ne lota gheron mein kahan dum tha
Meri haddy thi wahan tooti jahan hospital band tha,
Mujhay jis ambolence mein dala uska petrol khatam tha,
mujhay rakshay main is liye bithaya Q K is ka fare kum tha,
Mujhey docter ne uthaya nurse main kahan daM tha,
Mujhe jiS beD per litaya is k nichay bomb tha,
Mujhey to bomb se uraya, goli main kahan dam tha
or mujhe sarak per dafnaya Q K us din,Qabristan main function tha
Girl asks her lover for a letter she could spend her whole life reading; he sends back an indecipherable wall of symbols.
Girl:aisa khat likh sajna,
meri umar beet jaye parhtay parhtay.
Boy: (i=0oi>xE'I1i+:
e_y#a#>#"e!%;
=*?#@?w@'e*,
e(P+>i*
A setup question about the first thing to do after using the bathroom — with an answer that's common sense once it lands.
Peshab karna k bad
sab sa pahla kam
kya karna chaheya?
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.
.
.
jo gand kiya hai us par pani dalo
ya b nae pata
Memon falls from the 14th floor and on the way down spots his wife cooking — shouts not to make his roti.
1 memon 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
Grammar class joke: teacher asks what 'Pappu' is in the sentence about Pappu not talking to girls — a student nails the insult.
Grammar Teacher!
Pappu larkion say bat nahin kerta hai,
Batao is sentence mai pappu kia hai?
Student:Sir, pappu ullu ka patha hai
Challenges you to find the moon hidden in the SMS — then explains the moon is the sender's face, which SMS can't transmit.
Is SMS main chand dhund ker dikhaeye!
Aahaa!
..................................
SMS kerne walay ki
tasvir thori na ati hay:p
Complains about spending real money on SMS while everyone in the group stays silent and just keeps asking for more.
Mehil saji thi msgs ka tha daur,
SMS maine kia tha kisi ne na kia GHOR,
SMS mai paise lagey thay meray halal k,
Or sab kanjoos keh rahay they 1 aur 1 aur
Pathan splits his own head hammering a nail with a rock because someone told him to use his khopri (skull) as a tool.
1 pathan ka sir phat gaya
pathan se Dr. ne pocha:-
"khan sahab kia howa ?"
Khan:Hum pather se keel thok raha tha,
hum ko 1 admi bola khan KHOPRI istimal kero:p
A Pathan joins a funeral procession, mishears the prayer, and shouts 'Long Live!' at entirely the wrong moment.
1 jinaza ja raha tha
bohut say log sath ja rahay thay
1 pathan bhi janazay k sath mil gia
kisi nay kaha kalma-e-shihadat
pathan bola "ZINDAB BAAD!!"