Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
Police asks a child if his father is in Al-Qaeda; the kid says he doesn't know about dad but he himself is on Noorani Qaida (a children's reading primer).
1 Police officer bachey se:
Beta: Kia tumhare abu "Al Qaida" mein hain?
Bacha:
Uncle! Mujhe abu ka tu nahin pata per mein
.
.
"Noorani Qaida" pe hoon
SMS became cheap long ago but people's cheapskate habits never changed — still hoarding every paisa even when texting costs almost nothing.
Kia halat ho gai hai zamane ki,
Sabko adat ho gaye hai paise bachanay ki,
SMS to company ne kab k sastay kar diye,
Par fitrat nahi badli chillar bachanay ki
Teacher asks Altaf Hussain how to divide 4 apples among 5 children; his answer is to just remove one child from the equation.
Altaf bhai jab school gaye
Teacher ne pucha?
mere pas 4 apple hain,
5 bachon me kaise taqseem karein?
ALTAF BHAI:ek bache ko urado:-D
Memon's wife dies in the morning; he rushes to the kitchen and tells his daughter to cook one fewer breakfast.
1 memon subha so ko utha to
dekha ke uski biwi mar gaye hay.
Wo foran kitchen me gaya or
apni beti ko galay laga kar rony laga or
bola,“1 banday ka nashta kam banana”
Pathan eats for hours at a wedding banquet; explains he had no choice — the invitation card said 'Dinner 7 to 10 PM.'
Shadi me 1 pathan bohut dair tuk
khana kha raha tha,
kisi ne pocha kab tuk khao gay?
Pathan:me to khud kha-kha k dukhi hon,
per kia karon card me likha tha Dinner 7 to 10PM.
Boy tells a girl her dupatta is dragging on the floor; she turns it into an impromptu poem about footprints and dignity.
Ek ladki paidal chale ja rahi thi,
Ladka awaz deta hai,
ae diwani peeche murkar dekh
tera dupatta jameen se ghisa ja raha hai,
Ladki jawab deti hai-
ae diwane tu kya jane
ye bhi apna faraz nibha raha hai,
koi chum na le mere kadmon ki mitti ko
isi liye nishan mitata ja raha hai.
A deliberately tangled web of who likes whom in a friend group — concludes it's all their personal problem; why are you wasting your brain?
Pappu pinko ko pasand karta hay
aur Pinki Pappu k bhai ko
Jab k pappu k bhai ko Pinki ki behan achi lagti hai
aur Pinki ki behan ko Pappu ko pasand karti hai
Halan-k pappu pehle hi pinki ko chahta hai
Ab jab-k pinko ko pappu acha nahin lagta
aur Pappu ka bhaipinki k liye razi nahi hay
aur Pappu pinki ki behan se pyar nahin karta
jab k Pinki ki behan ko pappa ka bhai acha nahin lagta
To ye unka personal problem hay,
Aap kion apna dimagh kharab ker rahe ho
Man accidentally grabs a live wire and nearly dies; a power cut saves him just in time and he shouts 'Geo Musharraf!'
1 admi ne ghalti se bijli ka tar cho lia,
wo marne hi wala tha k usi waqt light chali gaye
or wo marne se bach gia,
us ne khushi se jhoom ker kaha {GEO MUSHARAF}
Romantic request to share hearts and company — ends with: life is too quiet alone, could you spare one of your friends?
Mujhe apni mohabbat ka aitbar to do,
Main toot k chahoon tumhein yeh ikhtiar to do,
Guzarti hi nahin ab ye zindagi tanha,
Apna 1 friend udhaar to do..
Pathan grabs the pilot's headphones mid-flight — he paid for the ticket, so why should the pilot get the music to himself?
1 pathan aero plane me pilot
say headphone cheen leta hai.
Pilot says! yeh kia ker rahe ho?
Pathan says:
Ticket ka paisa hum bhare
aur gana tum akela suney:p
Pathan always leaves the washroom door open; explains he suspects someone is watching him through the gap at the bottom.
Aik pathan jub bhi wash room
jata to darwaza khol kar jata.
Kisi ne wajah pochi to us ne bataya
k usey shak hai k darwaze k neecay
wale soorah se use koi dekhta hai
Observes that the world is cruel and SMS is cheap — yet people still can't bring themselves to send one.
De kar haath dosti ka wapis lia nahi jata,
Is nazuk mohabbat ko zakham diya nahi jata,
Such yeh duniya badi zalim hai,
SMS itna sasta he phir bhi kia nahi jata