Funny SMS / Text Messages

A political joke imagining Bush's reply to Faraz: they share the same fate, just with different betrayers.

"Bush" replies 2 "Faraz"..

Haal to mera b tere jesa he hy "Faraz",bus farq sirf itna hy . .
Tumhain apno ne lota, Hamain ghairon ne koota

Sheikh ki beti ka operation

A sheikh asks for his kidney stones back after surgery and, when pressed, explains exactly why he'd want them.

Ek sheikh ki beti ka operation hua
Doctor ne kaha pathri nikli hai
Sheikh bola lao mujhay do
Doctor ne kaha woh kya karo gay
Sheikh bola itni mehngi mili hai bechoon ga.

Santa and his wife in office

Santa discovers his wife sitting on the boss's lap during dictation and decides to quit — for a surprisingly oblivious reason.

Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.

Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.

Dr. Main patla hona chahta hun

A fat man asks for help losing weight, the doctor cuts his rotis from twelve to four, and the man has an immediate follow-up question.

Fat man: Dr. Main patla hona chahta hun
Dr.: tum rotiyan kitni khate ho?
Man: 12
Dr.: aj se tm 4 roti khao ge.
Man: in ko bad me khana hai k pehle :-)

9 0 per 1 mahajir

A Mohajir stands guard at Nine Zero, shooting everyone by ethnic group — until one unexpected claim stops him cold.

Nine zero pe 1
Muhajir gun le kr khara
Hogaya . Jo b wahan se
Guzarta
Us se poochta: tum kon?
Man : pathan
Muhajir shot
Dhuzzzz

Muhajir: tum kon ?
Man : baloch
Dhuzzzzz

Muhajir: tum kon ?
Khusra : tera baap
Muhajir : jao yaar
Apno ko konmaray ...

Konsi chiz hawa main bhi urti hai aur bachay bhi daiti hai

A teacher poses a riddle: what flies in the air and also gives birth? The answer is an air hostess.

Teacher: zameen per rehny waly janwer bachy dety hain,
hawa main urnay waly andy daitay hain,

Woh konsi cheez hai jo hawa mai bhi
urti hai or bachy bhi deti hai??

(more…)

Band hotel huey pathanon k

A mock Urdu couplet in classical style, mourning that the Pathans have shut their tea shops while wine bars stay open.

Raks kerti hy gardish-e-dauran
Dar khuley hyn sharab khano'n k

Chai peeney ko ab kahan jaye'n
Band hotel huey pathano'n k :p

T.V kion nahin lay gaya ?

Police ask Santa why the thief didn't steal the TV; Santa says because he was sitting watching it at the time.

Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor mere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye

Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??

Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..

Zara dholki bjao gorioo

Adnan Sami's song asking girls to play the dholki at a mehndi turns out to have unexpected consequences at an actual mehndi.

Adnan sami ko indian girls ne
mehndi k moqa per khoob bjaya
.
.
Beco-z
.
.
He sang a song
.
.
"zara dholki bjao gorioo"

Cricket ground, girlfriends & players

Relationship disasters with a girlfriend mapped onto every type of cricket dismissal, from knock-out to clean bowled.

Hamari life bhi cricket ground hai or hum players.

Jo 1st time larki k saath pakra jaye
"knock out" Hota hai,

Jo g.f ko milnay ja raha ho rastay me accident hojaye,
"run out"

Jo g.f ki deewar phlangtay huay pakra jaye,
"catch out"

G.f k bhai mar mar kr tangain tor dain
"lbw out"

Ap ka dost ap ko larki ban kr bewaqoof bnaye,
"stamp out"

Or kuch pedaishi "clean bold"
Hotay hain.
Ye log sirf taalian bja kr guzara krtay hain.

Balti bhar roh-e-afza

A short punchline about Pappu's legendary thirst being taken too literally by someone with a very large container of Rooh Afza.

Bus itna he kaha tha k Barson k Piyasay hain PaPpU,
Balti bhar k us zalim ne ROH'AFZA bana diya...

Child 2 dentist doctor

A child asks the dentist if teeth can be removed without pain, the dentist says no — then the child demonstrates with a smile.

Child 2 dentist doctor..!!!
Kya dard k baigar bhi daant nikalay ja saktay hain ??
Dr: nahi

Child: ager main nikal k dikhao
Dr: nikaloo

Child: he he he he he he