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1. Titanic was sinking.

Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)? Santa: Downwards!

2. Santa in court

SANTA went to court JUDGE: "Order ! Order !" SANTA: "1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !" JUDGE: "Shut Up !" SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!

3. A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell, Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies, I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

4. What a shot you made - santa singh

An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls. Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, “what a shot you made!‚

5. I will never marry in my life

Banta ask santa: what will you advise your children about marriage? Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also.

6. Cable T.V

Santa: Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids, they don't study,so i got rid of it Banta: Good? Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed

7. A Chini was in hospital.

A Chini was in hospital. SANTA went to meet him. Chini said "CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA" & died. SANTA went china 2 know the meaning, that was:- KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.

8. Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife. WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him! SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..

9. Kissing ur wife in ur home....

A man to Santa: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour and slapped the man and said: "He's not my friend."

10. Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua. Wo udas ho gaya. Banta : Yaar udas kion ho? Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

11. Mom in the room

When Your Mom Decides To Be In The Room While You're 0n The Computer, So You Just Switch To Google n Stare At It

12. Passwords of computer

Fact of Life... Only 1% of the girls become wife of their lovers, the remaining become passwords on the computer! :-)

13. I hope you have a wonderful christmas

I hope you have a wonderful christmas have a great new year ! Hopefully santa will be extra good to you . enjoy your holidays !

14. An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

15. Santa & Mathematical conversion

Maths Teacher Was Teaching Mathematical Conversions Teacher-If 1000 Kgs= Ton. Then For 3000 Kgs =How Much? Santa- Ton!Ton!Ton!

16. Thats a lucky match stick

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light. He tried another, It didnt light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket. “What for did you put that match in your […]

17. GOOD MORNING with the...

Good morning ! With a great light of sun With the songs of birds With the great Azaan of Masjid With the Quraan With the happiness With a great smile And with the morning prayer Have a nice day

18. Bachelor or Married again

Sardars Friend: Yaar, Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House Read Santa Singh, B.A. This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A. When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree? Sardar: You Dont Understand. Last Year My Wife Died, I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again. Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is Married […]

19. Santa throw the butter out of the window?

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window? A: He wanted to see butterfly!

20. To avoid side effects

Santa cuts sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess why? . . . . . . . To avoid the side effects!

21. Santa was drawing money from ATM.

Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.

22. It's only with a female

American: In our country , marriage even takes place with email. Santa: In India, it is only with a female

23. What should I write against mother tongue

Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long.....!

24. A good Friend is like a computer

A good Friend is like a computer he ENTERS in your life SAVE himself in your heart,FORMATS all your troubles and never DELETE you from his heart.

25. Headlights and wipers

After an accident, A v.angry driver: I showed u d headlights & told u 2 go by side. Santa: I also started d wipers & said No, no..No no. :D

26. Message for Dad

Great Msg About Dad : -A Great Man Who -Spares His Life -Hides His Feelings -Ignores His Happiness -Accepts The Struggle So Don’t Hurt Your Lovely Dad Think About Him !'

27. What comes first the chicken or the egg ?

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first the chicken or the egg ? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega !

28. Theif entered kitchen

Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I made. Banta: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance?

29. Google or Yahoo ???

Santa:- 'Which is better? Google or Yahoo..?' . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . ? Banta- 'Oh wait.I'll search it on Google'... :D ;)

30. Bank make your dreams come true

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why? Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...

Simply a hilarious collection of santa banta sms jokes / text messages.

32. Difference between good & great lawyer

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

33. Sardar Joined a new job

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked "what you did till evening?" Sardar :"Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright"