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1. Theif entered kitchen

A Santa-Banta joke where the question is whether to call police or an ambulance for a thief. Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I made. Banta: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance?

2. LIPTON di chah hai?

A Santa-Banta wordplay joke where a simple question about Lipton tea leads to a cheeky misinterpretation that has nothing to do with the beverage. A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!

3. Santa k ghar main talaab ka pani

Classic Santa-Banta format: someone rushes to tell Santa his house is flooded; Santa says impossible because he has the key. 1 banda bhahta howa aata hay aur Santa se kehta hai bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay. Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay, ghar ki chabi to meray paas […]

4. Taklu rooz saloon kion jata hay ?

A Santa-Banta riddle asking why a bald man visits the barber every single day — the punchline flips the question entirely. Santa taklu He phir bhi roz saloon jata hay, Why ??? Kion k

5. Cable T.V

Santa: Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids, they don't study,so i got rid of it Banta: Good? Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed

6. I will never marry in my life

Banta ask santa: what will you advise your children about marriage? Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also.

7. Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview. Interviewer : Give me the opposite words. Banta Singh : Ok Interviewer : Made in India Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down Interviewer : Maxi Mum Banta Singh : Mini Dad Interviewer : Enough! Take your […]

8. Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua. Wo udas ho gaya. Banta : Yaar udas kion ho? Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

9. Santa's sexy wife

2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival. Banta: What does your wife look like? Santa: She is 5'7", 36-24-36 sexy figure, fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours? Banta: Forget mine, let us look for yours.

10. uska naam hi yaad nahi aata

Santa (Sardar joke) is crying at a bar — he wants to forget a girl but can't remember her name, so forgetting is impossible. Santa bar me ro raha tha. Bartender: Kyo ro rahe ho? Santa: Aur kya karu?? Jis ladki ko bhulana chahta hun uska naam hi yaad nahi aata.

11. Santa was drawing money from ATM.

Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.

12. Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao

A Santa classroom joke where a translation exercise turns into a comically literal and rhythmically inventive English sentence. Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya. Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...

13. Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?

A Santa joke where asking for a color TV at a shop leads to a request so literal that it stumps the shopkeeper entirely. Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?' 'Haan' replies shopowner. Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

Simply a hilarious collection of santa banta sms jokes / text messages.

15. Yeh to aam ka pair hai.

Banta climbs a mango tree expecting to find apples, and the monkey who corrects him only adds to the absurdity when Banta explains his plan. Banta pair pey charha to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya? Banta: Apple khane. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka pair hai. Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

16. What comes first the chicken or the egg ?

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first the chicken or the egg ? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega !

17. Santa, Kachha and parosan

A cheeky Santa laundry joke where hanging underwear next to the neighbor's clothes leads to a request that sounds worse than it actually is. Santa ne kachha dho k padosan ki shalvar k paas sukhne daal diya, Aur awaz di Bhabi ji, Jab tum salvar utarogi to mujhe awaz de dena mai bhi kachha utar […]

18. Nagative answer

A grammar trick joke where a boy's double-negative accidentally admits everything. By expecting a negative answer, Girlfriend ask "Have u ever cheated, lie, broken promise?" To satisfy his girl, the boy reply a negative answer: "Nothing of these, I haven't done."

19. Titanic was sinking.

Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)? Santa: Downwards!

20. T.V kion nahin lay gaya ?

Police ask Santa why the thief didn't steal the TV; Santa says because he was sitting watching it at the time. Santa Police se: Kal rat chor mere ghar se TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye Police:TV kyon nahi legaya?? Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..

21. Santa in court

SANTA went to court JUDGE: "Order ! Order !" SANTA: "1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !" JUDGE: "Shut Up !" SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!

22. Life gives answer in 3 ways

Life gives answer in 3 ways... It says Yes & gives u what u want, It says no and gives u something better, It says wait and gives u the Best!

23. Tumhari galat fahami hai

Jeeto catches Santa swearing at her in his sleep, and Santa's defense of the accusation ends up being worse than the original complaint. Jeeto: Kal raat um mujhey neend main gaaliyan day rahay thay? Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai. Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami? Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.

24. A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell, Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies, I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

25. Headlights and wipers

A road accident joke where headlights and wipers become a miscommunication. After an accident, A v.angry driver: I showed u d headlights & told u 2 go by side. Santa: I also started d wipers & said No, no..No no. :D

26. Wishing a Diwali Jhakas

Warm Hindi Diwali SMS about how moments build feelings, feelings build trust, and trust makes someone special — Diwali Jhakaas. Pal Pal se banta hai Ehasas, ehsas se banta hai Vishvas, vishvas se bante hai Rishte, aur rishte se banta hai koi Khas, Wishing a Diwali Jhakas

27. Coffee and wine shop difference

Santa-What Is Difference Between COFFEE Shop & WINE Shop? Banta-COFFEE Shop Is The Starting Point Of LOVE & WINE Shop Is Last Point Of LOVE

28. Never search ur happiness in others

Never search ur happiness in others which will make u feel alone, but search it in urself u will feel happy even if u are left alone

29. What a shot you made - santa singh

An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls. Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, “what a shot you made!‚

30. A Chini was in hospital.

A Chini was in hospital. SANTA went to meet him. Chini said "CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA" & died. SANTA went china 2 know the meaning, that was:- KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.

31. We love most, who love us most

When we are happy... We search the person- we love the most... But... . . . . . "When we are sad... We search the person- who loves us the most..."

32. Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife. WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him! SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..

33. Kissing ur wife in ur home....

A man to Santa: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour and slapped the man and said: "He's not my friend."