Headlights and wipers

Related SMS

1. I will take either side

A lawyer saw an auto accident on street. He rushed over and started handing out business cards saying: I saw the whole thing.. I will take either side.

2. Cable T.V

Santa: Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids, they don't study,so i got rid of it Banta: Good? Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed

3. uska naam hi yaad nahi aata

Santa (Sardar joke) is crying at a bar — he wants to forget a girl but can't remember her name, so forgetting is impossible. Santa bar me ro raha tha. Bartender: Kyo ro rahe ho? Santa: Aur kya karu?? Jis ladki ko bhulana chahta hun uska naam hi yaad nahi aata.

4. LIPTON di chah hai?

A Santa-Banta wordplay joke where a simple question about Lipton tea leads to a cheeky misinterpretation that has nothing to do with the beverage. A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!

5. 1 Memon road se guzar raha tha

A Memon stereotype joke: he finds something on the road and grumbles about how wastefully people throw things away. 1 memon road se guzar raha tha, achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya aur zoor se chillaya, kameenaay log poti b aesi kartai hen jaisay koi samoosa para ho..

6. Sun or Moon

One day i told her you are just like a sun she got angry with me. Another day i told her you just like a moon she was very Happy. But i told her the moon has no own light the sun give him his own light.

7. Theif entered kitchen

A Santa-Banta joke where the question is whether to call police or an ambulance for a thief. Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I made. Banta: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance?

8. Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao

A Santa classroom joke where a translation exercise turns into a comically literal and rhythmically inventive English sentence. Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya. Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...

9. Man on right & women on left

A balance sheet joke that places husbands and wives in the asset and liability columns. Q: Do u knw y in a couple's photo man is on d right side & woman on d left? A: Coz as per balance sheet,Liabilities r on d Left Side & Assets on d Right!

10. Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?

A Santa joke where asking for a color TV at a shop leads to a request so literal that it stumps the shopkeeper entirely. Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?' 'Haan' replies shopowner. Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

11. To avoid side effects

Santa cuts sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess why? . . . . . . . To avoid the side effects!

12. Google or Yahoo ???

A Santa-Banta joke where the answer to 'Google or Yahoo' is found on Google. Santa:- 'Which is better? Google or Yahoo..?' . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . ? Banta- 'Oh wait.I'll search it on Google'... :D ;)

13. Santa in court

SANTA went to court JUDGE: "Order ! Order !" SANTA: "1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !" JUDGE: "Shut Up !" SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!

14. Beautiful quote on anger

If you're right, no need to get angry. If you're wrong, you have no right to be. No third option here. Beautiful quote on anger :-) "If u r right then there is no need to get Angry" and "if u r wrong then u dont have any right to be Angry"

15. Santa k ghar main talaab ka pani

Classic Santa-Banta format: someone rushes to tell Santa his house is flooded; Santa says impossible because he has the key. 1 banda bhahta howa aata hay aur Santa se kehta hai bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay. Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay, ghar ki chabi to meray paas […]

16. Santa, Kachha and parosan

A cheeky Santa laundry joke where hanging underwear next to the neighbor's clothes leads to a request that sounds worse than it actually is. Santa ne kachha dho k padosan ki shalvar k paas sukhne daal diya, Aur awaz di Bhabi ji, Jab tum salvar utarogi to mujhe awaz de dena mai bhi kachha utar […]

17. Love has no age....

A Shakespeare joke with a funny twist at the end. For when you want to bring up an age gap with humor instead of awkwardness. Someone Asked Shakespeare: "U Married A Girl Elder Than U, Why?" He Showed Him A Calendar N Said "A Week Has 7 Days; Can U Say Which Day Is Younger, […]

18. Titanic was sinking.

Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)? Santa: Downwards!

19. You Are The One

I do believe that God above, created you for me to love. He chose you from all the rest, because he knew I would love you best. For you are the one who stepped out of my dreams, you gave me new hope, and showed me what love means. For you I would cross the […]

20. I wanted you for CHRISTMAS

A funny Christmas message: if a big fat man grabs you and puts you in a sack, don't worry — Santa just got your wishlist. If one night a big fat man jumps in at your window, grabs you and puts you in a sack don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for CHRISTMAS. […]

21. T.V kion nahin lay gaya ?

Police ask Santa why the thief didn't steal the TV; Santa says because he was sitting watching it at the time. Santa Police se: Kal rat chor mere ghar se TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye Police:TV kyon nahi legaya?? Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..

22. What is skeleton?

A sardar interview joke redefining skeleton as someone who dieted too long. Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

23. Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua. Wo udas ho gaya. Banta : Yaar udas kion ho? Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

24. Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife. WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him! SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..

25. Kissing ur wife in ur home....

A man to Santa: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour and slapped the man and said: "He's not my friend."

26. Tumhari galat fahami hai

Jeeto catches Santa swearing at her in his sleep, and Santa's defense of the accusation ends up being worse than the original complaint. Jeeto: Kal raat um mujhey neend main gaaliyan day rahay thay? Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai. Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami? Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.

27. My heart was missing you

i went 2 c d cardiologist 2day. ECG showed anomalies in my heart's mode of operation. The doc said my heart was missing something 4 proper functioning. I was rushed 2 d theater & surgery was about 2 commence when i told the doc that surgery cud not solve d problem. cause my heart was […]

28. A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell, Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies, I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

29. Lonely road of broken dreams

I'm A Lonely Road Of Broken Dreams Its A Boulevard That I'm Searching For These Stars Are All So Dull Its The Moon That I'm Searching For Happiness Is So Angry At Me Its Life That I'm Searching For There Is A Crowd Around Me At All Times Its a Friend That I'm Searching For […]

30. Hum ne suboot diya apni Dosti ka

Urdu SMS that puts it plainly: we showed our side of this friendship. Now it's your turn to reply or delete. Hum ne suboot diya apni Dosti ka, Ab aap apni dosti ka hisaab do, Agar nahi karte ho pyar to delete kar do yeh msg, Agar karte ho to is ka jawaab do.

31. Taklu rooz saloon kion jata hay ?

A Santa-Banta riddle asking why a bald man visits the barber every single day — the punchline flips the question entirely. Santa taklu He phir bhi roz saloon jata hay, Why ??? Kion k

32. Sardar: Station jaane k kitne logay

A Sardar fare-negotiation joke where he wins the price argument by agreeing to take on the rickshaw driver's job himself. Sardar: Station jaane k kitne logay? Riksha wala: 50.. Sardar: 20 lelo.. Riksha wala: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?? Sardar: tum piche bheto hum le k jaayega..

33. When a Guy or Girl does Something Wrong!

When a Guy does Something Wrong! Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp! Boy : It was an Accident... I didn't mean to..! Girl : I can't believe you did this. Boy : I'm Sorry.. !! :( When a Girl does Something Wrong! Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!! Girl : It was an Accident. […]