Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
Went all the way up to fetch the moon and stars — remembered once there that the shopping bag was left at home.
Bari Mushkil se hum raat ko
aasman se aap ke liye
*chand* aur taray tornay gaye......
Lekin wahan jaa k yad aya k....
Shopper to hum ghar pe he Bhool gye!
A boy nervously asks a girl to marry him at a hotel — gets called a puppy's child, misunderstands the insult, and the conversation spirals from there.
Boy: mujh sy shadi karo gi?
Girl: kyaa!
Boy: achi film hai na!!!
Girl: kutty k bachy.
Boy: WHAT????
Girl: kitny cute hotty hain na!
Friend described as every kind of pharmaceutical trouble — syrup, capsule, injection — but ultimately the oxygen of friendship.
Aafat ke syrup ho tum,
Museebat ke capsule ho tum,
Pareshani ke injection ho tum,
Kya kare tumhe jhelna parta hai aakhir,
Dosti ke oxygen ho tum.
Bush disguises himself with a fake beard and mustache to surprise his wife in bed. She wakes up, touches his face, and happily greets Osama.
Bush ne bivi ko surprise
dene k lie Naqli darhi monchain laga
k rat ko chupke se bister men so gaya.
adhi rat ko bivi ki ankh khuli to us k mun
per hath phera or khushi se ucchal
kar boli USAMA tum aaj phir aa gaye?????
Last wishes SMS: no Taj Mahal needed, just bury the sender and build a girls hostel over the grave.
Muje JALA dena, ya DAFNA dena
marte waqt 1 ghoot BEAR pila dena ........
Main TAJMAHAL nahi mangta yaro ...........
bas meri QABAR pe 1 GIRLs hostel bana dena...
A road-safety observation: accidents happen in the front seat because of children, and children happen in the back seat because of closeness. Avoid cars entirely.
Kehte hain: Car mein aagay wali seat
par baccho ki vajah se HAADSE hote hain;
Or peeche wali seat par
HADSON KI WAJA se bacche hote hain..
So, plz. Avoid CAR..
Girlfriend sends a Fanaa-style romantic couplet about her love consuming her boyfriend — the consuming is entirely financial.
girlfriend tells boyfriend in fanaa style
tere paiso ko mere purse mein panaah mil jaaye
mere ishq mein teri daulat fanaa ho jaaye
subhanallah! !!
Poetic buildup praising a girl's looks and charm lands on the gut-punch: someone else already got to her first.
Woh gori hai uski zulfe hain kali,
Wo Pari hai ya Pariyo ki Rani,
Uski har baat hai nirali,
Par kya karu yaaro wo larki kisi aur ne pata li!
An honest wish SMS: knowing it's impossible, the sender still dreams of one of three Bollywood stars ending up with him — it's just a prayer, don't judge.
Aishwaria Rai, Preety Zinta, Kareena Kapoor
in teenon main se kise ko hona ho ga maira zaroor
main janta hoon nahi ha itni ooqaat maire
lakin, lab pay aati ha dua ban kay tamana maire
Roman Urdu wordplay on 'bheja' — meaning both 'brain' and 'to send' — God sent you but forgot to include the brain part.
GOD nay aap ko bheja to bheja,
Laikin bheja tu aisa bheja,
k bheje main bheja hi nahin bheja,
yeh SMS mujhey kisi nay bheja,
is liye main ne aap ko bheja
A biryani eating prayer written in the exact format of a ritual intention — four plates, fifteen to twenty pieces of meat, with zarda, raita, and salad, Bismillah.
Biryani khanay ki dua!
Niyat kerta hon main 4 plate biryani ki,
wastay 15,20 boti k
bama zarda, raita, or salad k
mun mera daig ki taraf.
BISMILLAH
Power cut at night; husband asks wife to fan him. She refuses — if she fans him, the candle will go out.
1 night bijli chali gae...
PATHAN APNI BIVI SAY:
oye kam se kam pankha to chala day.
BiWI: kar di na phir pathano wali baat...
pankha chalaingay to mombatti bujh nahin jayegi