Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
A 75-year-old puts a marriage ad in the newspaper and receives a reply with a gentle reminder about what visits at her age.
75 year old lady ne newspaper me add diya,
"Zarorut-e-rishta"
7 din k baad ek letter aaya
"Amma is umer mein rishtay nahin,
Farishtay aatay hain"
A madman insists an American is Japanese with such persistence that the American eventually agrees — then the punchline lands.
1 pagal American se:
Tum japanese ho na?
Amr:Nahi, mein american hon
Pg:Nahi tum japnese ho!
A:nahi me american hon
P:Nahi tum japnese ho
A:han han me japnese hon
P: Lagte to american ho:p:D
A chai vendor tries some poetic flattery about a girl nearby and gets a perfectly matched put-down in return.
Chai wala:
bholi si sorut,
ankhon me masti
dor khari sharmaye, aye haye.
Girl Reply:
Kali si surat,
hath mein kaitli,
dor khara chillaye,
chai chai :-P
A notoriously tight-fisted Memon boss rewards a hardworking employee with a bonus cheque — but the cheque is missing something essential.
Memon boss 2 worker:
Tumne is saal mehnat se kaam kia hai,
is liye 5000 ka bonus cheque de raha hon.
Agar isi tarha kaam karoge to
agle saal is pe sign ker donga.
A father asks his daughter what she'll be when she grows up, and mom gently corrects the order of her plans.
Father asked beti:
"Tum bari ho ker kia karo gi?"
Beti:"
Maa banun gi,
study karon gi,
shari karon gi,
bus or kia?"
Mom:"Beti jo marzi kerna per zara tarteeb seedhi rakhna";-)
A short romantic verse in Urdu about building a private world with someone and living joyfully together.
Hum apni duniya alag basain gay,
Usay yadoon say sajayain gay,
Muhabbat ki kalion ka ik gulshan mahka'ain gay,
Usay abad karain gay hum,
Her dum shaad rahain gay,
Straightforward Roman Urdu romantic SMS listing love, prayers, and devotion as all exclusively yours.
Meri mohabbat
Meri wafain
Meri duain
Meri adain
Meri yeh dolat
Meri yeh shohrat
Sirf tere liye hain,
Sirf tere liye hain
A Pathan dies smiling when lightning strikes — his last thought makes perfect sense once you hear it.
1 pathan ki mout bijli girne se hoi!.
Per uski laash haste hue mili,
Farishton ne pocha aisa kion?
Pathan:Hum samjha koi hamara
photo kheench raha hai :p
A running list of everything that's gone up in price — flour, oil, petrol — and then one final surprise at the end.
TIK TIK TIK TIK
Aata
Daal
Ghee
Cheeni
Chawal
Doodh
Tail
Gosht
Petrol
K baad ab
Aah
Time bhi barha diya..!!
A doctor prescribes syrup three times daily, but a Pathan has a simpler objection than most patients would.
Doctor:
Ye syrup 2 spoon subha,
2 dopahar,
2 raat ko,
3 din tuk lena hay
Pathan:apna dawai apna pas rakho
hamara ghar me itna chamach(spoon) nahi hy.
A hundred Pathans are on a stuck boat and decide the best plan is to get out and push — from outside.
100 pathan aik kashti me sawar thay
k achanak kashti ruk gai
.
.
.
or
.
.
.
sab doob gaye, kaisay?
.
.
.
pathan thay na sub,
dhakka deney utar gaye
:p
Pathan receives a blank SMS, calls back, and politely warns the sender that their mobile's ink has run out.
1 pathan ko khali msg aaya
Pathan ne usi mobile number per call ker k kaha
!
!
!
!
Woy yaara!
Tumko malum hay?
tumhara mobile ki siyahi
khatam ho gaya hy!