Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to
gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?

Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us
time ke salmaan khan thay!!!

Abhi bole to bhai ko tere SMS nahi aarele,
Bhai ka khopdi boht tight he,
Bol nikalu kya tera luky draw?
bole to do-char SMS chipka dal mamu.

Sender... Circuit Bhai!

PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein
gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Tera bhot memory aa rela tha,
Itna tem ho gela hai,
tere ko dekha bhi nai,
Akha life mei tere jesa 1 item mila apanko,
miss to karega

MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar.
Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehli hain.

MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

EXam's song by Munna bhai:

"Chanda Mama so Gaye,
Student sarey jage.
Dekho pakdo yaron,
Ghadi ke kaante bhaage.
Ek pariksha khatam,to duji
shuru ho gayi MAAMU.

PROFESSOR: Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.

MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bail,
Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.