I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with! — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians,… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“Craig: 'When I used to drink, I binge drank…and I’m kind of like that with Doctor Who. I save up a lot… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
