Humor Quotes by Terry Pratchett

“Tão ameaçadora quanto saldo negativo no banco”

— Terry Pratchett

“It's a certainty, but it just might work.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Never trust a woman who gives funny names to means of transport.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.”

— Terry Pratchett

“... a metaphor ... is like lying but more decorative.”

— Terry Pratchett

“…magic has a habit of lying low, like a rake in the grass.”

— Terry Pratchett

“We all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Yep, it's gone myffic all right.”

— Terry Pratchett

“I often don't know where my Luggage is, that's what being a tourist is all about.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Hrun the Barbarian, who was practilly an academic by Hub standards in that he could think without moving his lips.”

— Terry Pratchett

“He wanted one drink, and understood precisely why he wasn't going to have one. One drink ended up arriving in a dozen…

— Terry Pratchett

“Decided to put aside ethnic differences in the cause of making more money.”

— Terry Pratchett

“YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said. That's what being alive is all about.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest…

— Terry Pratchett

“Can't we do anything about it?" - "No!" - "Then I can't see the sense in panicking", said Twoflower calmly”

— Terry Pratchett

“There were only three times in your life when it was proper to come through the front door, and you were carried…

— Terry Pratchett

“His age was indeterminate. But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he…

— Terry Pratchett

“In a well-organized world he might have landed on a fire escape, but the fire escapes were unknown in Ankh-Morpork and the…

— Terry Pratchett

“My Lord... what is Death like?" called the old man tremulously. "When I have investigated it fully, I will let you know,"…

— Terry Pratchett

“He looked at her defiantly, and she thought: and so one at a time we all become human—human werewolves, human dwarfs, human…

— Terry Pratchett

“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!' IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.…

— Terry Pratchett

“HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT…

— Terry Pratchett

“She knew a cutting, incisive, withering and above all a self-evident answer existed. It was just that, to her extreme annoyance, she…

— Terry Pratchett

They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh…

— Terry Pratchett

“I dinna want to disappoint ye, but we's in a cellar right here, and it's full o' tatties.' After a while a…

— Terry Pratchett

“Farther down the riverbank sat a young man dressed all in white. He was the only person in sight. His hair was…

— Terry Pratchett

“Can you swim?" said Victor. One of the cavern's rotting pillars crashed down behind them. From the pit itself came a terrible…

— Terry Pratchett

“Furnishing was not a priority in the Citadel. Shelves, stools, tables... There was a rumor among the novices that priests towards the…

— Terry Pratchett

“It will certainly show what our ancestors would be thinking if they were alive today. People have often speculated about this. Would…

— Terry Pratchett

The Yen Buddhists are the richest religious sect in the universe. They hold that the accumulation of money is a great evil…

— Terry Pratchett

“Typical artist,' said Granny. 'He just painted the showy stuff in the front... And what about these cherubs? We're not going to…

— Terry Pratchett

“My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all…

— Terry Pratchett

“(Plants on the disc, while including the categories known commonly as annuals, which were sown this year to come up later this…

— Terry Pratchett

“There is a lot of folklore about equestrian statues, especially the ones with riders on them. There is said to be a…

— Terry Pratchett

“Aye, Rob, but we canna help noticin' ye also have tae do the Explainin', too,' said Daft Wullie. There was a general…

— Terry Pratchett

“The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like…

— Terry Pratchett

“The Necrotelicomnicon was written by a Klatchian necromancer known to the world as Achmed the Mad, although he preferred to be called…

— Terry Pratchett

“You see, the only thing the good people are good at is overthrowing the bad people. And you're good at that, I'll…

— Terry Pratchett

“There is a plain under a dim sky. It is covered with gentle rolling curves that might remind you of something else…

— Terry Pratchett

“The boldest of the three (thieves) moved suddenly, grabbed Angua and pulled her upright. "We walk out of here unharmed or the…

— Terry Pratchett