“Oh... and Bacon Surprise.' REALLY? WHAT IS SO SURPRISING ABOUT BACON? 'I don't know. I suppose it comes as something of a… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Look, this is just the cemetery. It's got bylaws and things! It's not Transylvania! There's just dead people here! That doesn't make… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There’s lots of people will help you with alcohol business, but there’s no one out there arranging little meetings where you can… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“At the Temple of the Seven-Handed Sek a hasty convocation of priests and ritual heart-transplant artisans agreed that the hundred-span-high statue of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Moist had seen the Falls before and that's just what they were...falls. Pretty good falls by the standard of falls, but once… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn’t entirely there. Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There’s a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork, greatest of Discworld cities. At least, there’s a saying that there’s a saying… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“It will certainly show what our ancestors would be thinking if they were alive today. People have often speculated about this. Would… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“YOU ARE NOT AFRAID? 'Not yet. But, er...which way to the egress, please?' There was a pause. Then Death said, in a… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“My Lord... what is Death like?" called the old man tremulously. "When I have investigated it fully, I will let you know,"… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“...for the first time Rincewind saw the troll. It wasn’t half so bad as he had imagined. Umm, said his imagination after… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“It is well known that stone can think, because the whole of electronics is based on that fact, but in some universes… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“How hard can writing be? After all, most of the words are going to be 'and,' 'the,' and 'I,' and 'it,' and… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“A young man of godlilke proportions* was standing in the doorway. * The better class of gods, anyway. Not the ones with… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Victor eyed the glistening tubes in the tray around Dibbler's neck. They smelled appetizing. They always did. And then you bit into… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Archbishop James Usher (1580-1656) published Annales Veteris et Novi Testaments in 1654, which suggested that the Heaven and the Earth were created… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Many bad things were done under the Evil Empire" she said. "The best we can do now is undo them. Will you… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Earwig said the village women know what to do,” said Annagramma hopefully. “She says to trust in their peasant wisdom.” “Well,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You hardly know me and yet you invited me out on a date,’ said Miss Dearheart. ‘Why?’ Because you called me a… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Typical artist,' said Granny. 'He just painted the showy stuff in the front... And what about these cherubs? We're not going to… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The Necrotelicomnicon was written by a Klatchian necromancer known to the world as Achmed the Mad, although he preferred to be called… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
