Terry Pratchett

“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.”

— Terry Pratchett

“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I…

— Terry Pratchett

“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the…

— Terry Pratchett

“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes."…

— Terry Pratchett

It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with.…

— Terry Pratchett

You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.

— Terry Pratchett

Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.

— Terry Pratchett

“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered,…

— Terry Pratchett

A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

— Terry Pratchett

“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of…

— Terry Pratchett

“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.”

— Terry Pratchett

“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is…

— Terry Pratchett

“You'd like Freedom, Truth, and Justice, wouldn't you, Comrade Sergeant?' said Reg encouragingly. 'I'd like a hard-boiled egg,' said Vimes, shaking the…

— Terry Pratchett

“You are not apprehensive, are you? I can't detect no trace of fear none whatsoever Roomy cranium all possible videos of all…

— Terry Pratchett

Imagination, not intelligence, made us human.

— Terry Pratchett

“Never promise to do the possible. Anyone could do the possible. You should promise to do the impossible, because sometimes the impossible…

— Terry Pratchett

Raise the stakes! Always push your luck because no one else would push it for you.

— Terry Pratchett

“People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it’s the other way around. Stories exist independently of their players. If…

— Terry Pratchett

Find the story, Granny Weatherwax always said. She believed that the world was full of story shapes. If you let them, they…

— Terry Pratchett

But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats.…

— Terry Pratchett

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

— Terry Pratchett

Some of my best sources are ex-policemen, just to get a feeling of what it's like to be one. And it's quite…

— Terry Pratchett

“To ther Hed Wizzard, Unsene Universety, Greatings, I hop you ar well, I am sending to you won Escarrina Smith, shee hath…

— Terry Pratchett

“The universe, they say, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty, and…

— Terry Pratchett

“Aziraphale was an angel, but he also worshiped books.”

— Terry Pratchett