“The funeral carriage went slowly. It looked quite expensive, but that was Cockbill Street for you. People put money by. Vimes remembered… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“One of the biggest religions on Roundworld was founded by a carpenter's son!' Ponder snarled. 'For years, the most powerful person on… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Rincewind formed a mental picture of some strange entity living in a castle made of teeth. It was the kind of mental… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I THINK NOT. I WASN'T CUT OUT TO BE A FATHER, AND CERTAINLY NOT A GRANDAD. I HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT KIND… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“ If you ask 10 nomes to push four will pull and two will say pardon” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“the Ankh-Morpork Trespassers' Society was originally the Explorers' Society until Lord Vetinari forcibly insisted that most of the places 'discovered' by the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!' IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I thought she thought he was just a big pile of jobbies?” he said. “I seen her oout walkin’, an’ when… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone has to do it. It's all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Romancin’ is verra important, ye ken. Basically it’s a way the boy can get close to the girl wi’oot her attackin’ him… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Could I please amend that suggestion? Could you not be there in the second darkest shadow one hour before midnight, to see… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I often don't know where my Luggage is, that's what being a tourist is all about," said Twoflower.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You're- you're not going to force me to go back are you?" he said. "Um?" said the duke. He waved his hand… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Three very crowded hours went past. They involved quite a lot of phone calls, telexes, and faxes. Twenty-seven people were got out… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Rincewind picked up a spare paper and read it. It was headed: Examination for the post of Assistant Night-Soil Operative for the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Here you are. Would you like some pickles?” “Pickles gives me the wind something awful.” “In that case—” “Oh, I wasn’t saying… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“where actual evidence had been a bit sparse he had, in the best traditions of the keen ethnic historian, inferred from revealed… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The truth of the matter was that Juliet would look good in a sack. Somehow everything she wore fitted perfectly. Glenda, on… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Whoever had created humanity had left in a major design flaw. It was its tendency to bend at the knees.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It looked the sort of book described in library catalogues as 'slightly foxed,' although it would be more honest to admit that… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I hope you're not proposing to enslave us,' said Twoflower. Marchesa looked genuinely shocked. 'Certainly not! Whatever could have given you that… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“It is well known that any drive to reduce paperwork only results in extra paperwork” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“His name's Twoflower. He isn't from these parts.' 'Doeshn't look like it. Friend of yoursh?' 'We've got this sort of hate-hate relationship,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
