“I? KILL? said Death, obviously offended. CERTAINLY NOT. PEOPLE GET KILLED, BUT THAT'S THEIR BUSINESS. I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Er…what's that glass for, sir?' ‘It’s a monocle,’ said the captain. ‘It helps me see you, for which I am eternally grateful.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I don’t reckon it’s allowed, going round setting fire to people,” said Adam. “Otherwise people’d be doin’ it all the time.” “It’s… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“How long have you been going?' said Vimes, selecting a pie. ‘Let’s see…what year is this?’ ‘Er…Dancing Dog, I think.’ ‘Since Tuesday,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“All that yohoho stuff's for landlubbers, or it would be if we ever used words like landlubber. Do you know the difference… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“It might have interested Newt to know that, of the thirty-nine thousand women tested with the pin during the centuries of witch-hunting,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“One cannot help feeling that some alternative occupation—lettuce farming, say—would offer somewhat less of a risk of being put to death by… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Rincewind tried to scream through gritted teeth. His ankles were already beginning to sweat. 'I'm not going to ride on a magic… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It was possibly the most circumspect advance in the history of military maneuvers, right down at the bottom end of the scale… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Woss the matter with you?” asked Big Ted, irritably. “Go on. Press ‘D.’ Elvis Presley died in 1976.” I DON’T CARE WHAT… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But there's magic too. You'll pick that up. It don't take much intelligence, otherwise wizards wouldn't be able to do it.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Thatsh prieshts for you,” said the old man wetly. “Nothing by torc, torc, torc.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“If you kill me a thousand will take my place,‘ said the man, who was now backed against a wall. ‘Yes,‘ said… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There was a crash from the direction of the kitchen, although it really was more of a crashendo - the long drawn… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“It’s a popular fact that 90 percent of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. .… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Tiffany jumped when she saw a balloon sail up above the trees, catch the wind, and swoop away, but it turned out… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“His knowledge of country lore was a little hazy, but he felt fairly sure that if the cows lay down, it meant… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“It's not gambling to play against someone who's no good. It's common sense.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Oh, don’t be absurd, man.' The Prime Minister sat back in his chair. 'Come on. We can’t just ban a thing because… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“They want dancing girls! They want thrills! They want elephants! They want people falling off roofs! They want dreams! The world is… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“He had done regular live concerts from San Quentin jail until the civil rights people got him under the Cruel and Unusual… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Around it are those countries which, according to History, constitute the civilised world ie, a world that can support historians — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
