Funny work Quotes

Alright look, our policy is, if for any reason you're not completely satisfied, I hate you.

— Goodmanb

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're…

— Rich Hall

You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces…

— Craig Ferguson

He worked like hell in the country so he could live in the city, where he worked like hell so he could…

— Don Marquis

Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.

— Michel Tournier

There's not a single job in this town. There's nothin', nada, zip. Unless you wanna workforty hours a week.

— Jeff Daniels

Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.

— Huey Long

No one's dream job involves a kiosk.

— Damien Fahey

After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.

— Jerry Seinfeld

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've…

— Dennis Miller

I'm sorry you think I am a bitch sir... I had every intention of being super awesome today.... but unfortunately you pushed…

— Rose Etheridge

I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.

— Anonymous

Most people like hard work, particularly when they're paying for it.

— Elbert Hubbard

I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.

— Rita Rudner

Entrepreneurs are willing to work 80 hours a week to avoid working 40 hours a week.

— Lori Greiner

I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week.

— Vince McMahon

The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay.

— Oscar Wilde

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

— Kin Hubbard

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

— Scott Adams

If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.

— Christopher Titus

People don't think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want…

— Jerry Seinfeld

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

— Jay London

A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.

— Alan Davies

The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.

— Zig Ziglar

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.

— Claude Maxwell MacDonald