Discworld Quotes by Terry Pratchett

“SOD YOU, THEN, Death said.”

— Terry Pratchett

What can the harvest hope for...

— Terry Pratchett

“Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.”

— Terry Pratchett

Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.

— Terry Pratchett

“Don't wish , Miss Tick had said. Do things.”

— Terry Pratchett

I am death, not taxes. I turn up only once.

— Terry Pratchett

We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience

— Terry Pratchett

Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out.

— Terry Pratchett

There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.

— Terry Pratchett

Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point MY POINT EXACTLY.

— Terry Pratchett

And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!

— Terry Pratchett

“Welcome to fear , Moist said to himself. It's hope, turned inside out.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Occasionally a few bubbles would eructate to the surface like the ghosts of beans on bath night.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Vimes awoke with a noseful of camel. There are far worse awakenings, but not as many as you might think.”

— Terry Pratchett

“She knew a cutting, incisive, withering and above all a self-evident answer existed. It was just that, to her extreme annoyance, she…

— Terry Pratchett

It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases - one was Alzheimers, and the other…

— Terry Pratchett

As they say in Discworld, we are trying to unravel the Mighty Infinite using a language which was designed to tell one…

— Terry Pratchett

“Ah, I know that," said Tiffany, as the boat rocked on the swell. "Whales aren't dangerous, because they just eat very small…

— Terry Pratchett

“A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they…

— Terry Pratchett

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.

— Terry Pratchett

“On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to…

— Terry Pratchett

“We're really good at it, Teppic thought. Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human…

— Terry Pratchett

Picturesque meant - he decided after careful observation of the scenerey that inspired Twoflower to use the word - that the landscape…

— Terry Pratchett

“My Lord... what is Death like?" called the old man tremulously. "When I have investigated it fully, I will let you know,"…

— Terry Pratchett

“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!' IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.…

— Terry Pratchett

I think when people mean that Discworld books have become darker they really mean the series is growing up. In 'The Colour…

— Terry Pratchett

“It had, however, been declared by his own physician to be a case of natural causes. Bentzen had gone to see the…

— Terry Pratchett

The bravest person I've ever met was a young boy going through massive amounts of treatment for a very rare, complex and…

— Terry Pratchett

“The barricade was taking some while to dismantle. Chair legs and planks and bedsteads and doors and baulks of timber had settled…

— Terry Pratchett

Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but…

— Terry Pratchett

“Have - have you got an appointment?' he said. 'I don't know,' said Carrot. 'Have we got an appointment?' 'I've got an…

— Terry Pratchett

“Winder's mind felt even fuzzier than it had done over the past few years, but he was certain about cake. He'd been…

— Terry Pratchett

“Oh, good grief," said Vimes. "Look, it's quite simple, man. I was expected to go "At last, alcohol!", and chugalug the lot…

— Terry Pratchett

“That --ing zombie is going to end up on the end of a couple of --ing handy and versatile kebab skewers,' said…

— Terry Pratchett

“ Click. The salamander flared, etching the room with searing white light and dark shadows. Otto screamed. He fell to the floor,…

— Terry Pratchett

“How big a war?" "A worse one than the one fifty years ago, I expect," said Cheery. "I don't recall people talking…

— Terry Pratchett

“He sighed and opened the black box and took out his rings and slipped them on. Another box held a set of…

— Terry Pratchett

“ You have no power over us , said the Auditor. We are not alive. BUT YOU ARE DEMONSTRATING ARROGANCE, PRIDE AND…

— Terry Pratchett

Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world. It's unreliable levers that are the problem.

— Terry Pratchett

At least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe.

— Terry Pratchett