Humor Quotes by Cassandra Clare

“I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.”

— Cassandra Clare

My rapier wit hides my inner pain.

— Cassandra Clare

very funny my sarcastic friend

— Cassandra Clare

He's got a great sense of humor for a guy who never says anything.

— Cassandra Clare

Jesus!" Luke exclaimed. "Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.

— Cassandra Clare

It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'.

— Cassandra Clare

“My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.”

— Cassandra Clare

“I'm warning you, that jacket is sexy. The Institute could go up in sexy, sexy flames.”

— Cassandra Clare

“Our fathers were demons,' Catarina said. 'Our mothers were heroes.”

— cassandra clare

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.

— Cassandra Clare

“Why do you tell me you love me only when you're drunk or dreaming? she asked. I have awful timing, said Simon”

— Cassandra Clare

“Mr. Rochester never courted Jane Eyre," Tessa pointed out. "No, he dressed up as a woman and terrified the poor girl out…

— Cassandra Clare

“Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is." "It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec.…

— Cassandra Clare

I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers…

— Cassandra Clare

“Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck doesn't make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the…

— Cassandra Clare

“My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.'-Jace 'Just break the door down, will…

— Cassandra Clare

“Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?" "I though it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the…

— Cassandra Clare

“Youre a public menace.You shouldnt be allowed out on your own."said Simon. "Jealousy is such an ugly emotion,Lewis."said Jace.”

— Cassandra Clare

“What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?" "Because only Jace can piss someone…

— cassandra clare

You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me." "I was ninety percent sure." "I see," Clary…

— Cassandra Clare

“Why are you here?" "'Here' as in your bedroom, or 'here' as in the great, spiritual question of our purpose here on…

— Cassandra Clare

Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit…

— Cassandra Clare

“Haven't you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?" "Only from ugly people," Jace confided. "The meek may inherit the earth,…

— Cassandra Clare

“Perhaps we could say she’s a mad maiden aunt who insists on chaperoning us everywhere.” “My aunt or yours?” Jem inquired. “Yes,…

— Cassandra Clare

“Are you ever going home?" "What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something," Simon said. "do you find me…

— Cassandra Clare

“I'm not going to do that." "of course you're not." Jace said. "because you live to torture me, don't you?" "Not everything,…

— Cassandra Clare

What about Isabelle?" Simon asked. "Where is she?" The humor, such as it was, left Jace's expression. "She won't come out of…

— Cassandra Clare

“Let me guess, Jessie. You ran across some poor woman in the park who had the misfortune of wearing a gown that…

— Cassandra Clare

“I'm seven hundred years old, Alexander. I know when something isn't going to work. You won't even admit I exist to your…

— Cassandra Clare

“What - what - what are you doing?" he demanded. "I am almost six hundred years old," Magnus claimed, and Ragnor snorted,…

— Cassandra Clare

“Charlotte, darling, Henry said to his wife, who was staring at im in gape-mouthed horror. Jassamine, beside her, was wided eyed. Sorry…

— Cassandra Clare

“So--what's it like, being a vampire?" "Aline!" Isabelle looked appalled. "You can't just go around asking people what's it like to be…

— Cassandra Clare

“Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw Jace shoot her a look of white rage - but when…

— Cassandra Clare

“Why are we bringing him along, again?" Will inquired, of the world in general as well as his sister. Cecily put her…

— Cassandra Clare

“So it's true what they say about warlocks, then?" Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. " What's true?" "Alexander," said Magnus…

— Cassandra Clare

“Your pretense does not fool me, gnome. My eye will be upon you.”

— Cassandra Clare

“If you'd like to go back in there and try kicking him, I recommend aiming upward and a bit to the left.”

— Cassandra Clare

“Remember how before, I was talking about Dungeons and Dragons? Vividly, Jace said. It was a dark time.”

— Cassandra Clare

“James Carstairs! Jem! Where are you, you disloyal bastard?”

— Cassandra Clare

“Anna shuddered. "Orange is not the colour of seduction, Christopher. Orange is the colour of despair, and pumpkins.”

— Cassandra Clare