Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett

““Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad.””

Terry Pratchett

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More by Terry Pratchett

“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.”

Terry Pratchett

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“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as drunk as a skunk, Drumknott, which of course means skunks are just as drunk as I. I must say the term is unfamiliar to me, and I had not thought hitherto of skunks in this context,…

Terry Pratchett

“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off. A dog's wet nose is not strictly speaking the worst of the bunch,…

Terry Pratchett

“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of…

Terry Pratchett

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It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family…

Terry Pratchett

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You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.

Terry Pratchett

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Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.

Terry Pratchett

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“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,…

Terry Pratchett

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A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

Terry Pratchett

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“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.…

Terry Pratchett

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“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.”

Terry Pratchett

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“There is a night that never comes to an end… The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving…

Terry Pratchett

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'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.

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When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions…

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Joking about violence is not funny.

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In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.

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“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly. Bane rolled his eyes and stage whispered: 'She asked why I cared so much about getting her dirty, teary face all my new shirt earlier, and asked where I got it from anyway. I said: 'Guess',…

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“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”

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“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which…

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In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…

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“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once, for example, when I was just starting out in the food business, I was hired by the caper people to develop a lot of recipes using capers, and it was weeks of tossing capers into just…

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