Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
New iPod. It looks like an iPhone but it can't make phone calls. So its really just an iPhone. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Acid gave me a clinical, unblinking look at madness, and I discovered I wasn't brave enough to be insane. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think people are as individual as snowflakes, they kinda look alike but no two are the exactly the same, and all… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think we look back at times past with fondness because we were younger. Life had not yet begun pecking away at… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
World War Z is out today. The big zombie movie. The trailer looks scary. You see hordes of bodies climbing and rolling… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Friday's turmoil in global markets looks set to continue to exert a dominant force on the foreign exchange markets. The usual trend… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The queen banishes Snow White because of her beauty. But the dwarves help Snow White because they're smitten by that very beauty.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
There are plans for a new high-speed train between Los Angeles and San Francisco. It will make the trip time 30 minutes.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Fraser's mother, Janice, was actually quite a happy soul but she had to hide it because, like all pseudo intellectuals, she thought… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
You know, where I come from, an antique, to be called an antique, it has to be at least a hundred years… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
