People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I can't wait to see the debate between Ryan and Joe Biden. Biden is said to be already trying out different strategies.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
That's the thing about terrorism - it works. Especially for the terrorists - they might not get what they want but it… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Now, I know Obama was trying to take the long view, but talking about solar energy in the middle of the oil… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
A New York City judge struck down a proposed law to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. I think Mayor Bloomberg should… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Some people take the spelling bee very seriously. These people are called "parents of children in the spelling bee." They're trying to… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think I'll be Scottish in every movie I write. They always try to talk me out of it, but Woody Allen… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
