If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I'm sorry that your life turned out like that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it,… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
You know when you're a kid and you think, 'Oh no, I've got double math, this is never gonna end,' but then… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
BP CEO Tony Hayward said recently, 'No one wants this thing over more than I do. I'd like my life back.' Tony,… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
School did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, though. I learned how to read, and for that I… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I told her that I didn't want to take any drugs. That I had come here not to take drugs. "Listen," she… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“Gillette--The best a man can get." I stared at the screen. What happened to me? I was meant to be one of… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
