People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
There are times when you see the news, and you go, "How the hell am I meant to do anything tonight?" I'm… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
CBS announced they're canceling As The World Turns. Don't worry though, if you're addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin is speaking out about the oil spill. She said, I'm not kidding, we should ask the Dutch for help with… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
World War Z is out today. The big zombie movie. The trailer looks scary. You see hordes of bodies climbing and rolling… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
It never occurred to them that God may have provided the world with a vast array of very brainy medical types for… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Italian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
