I became a terrible drunk or alcoholic - or a good one depending on your point of view. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The first ads for medical marijuana have started airing on television in California. The ads are quite expensive. It costs a lot… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
If I have a near-beer, Im near beer. And if Im near beer, Im close to tequila. And if Im close to… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Stoners just got a powerful new ally in the fight to legalize marijuana - conservative broadcaster Pat Robertson. He said it's time… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I haven't had a drink in thirteen years, but occasionally I'm tempted to have one beer. The problem is that if I… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“Craig: 'When I used to drink, I binge drank…and I’m kind of like that with Doctor Who. I save up a lot… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
