“Beer has that Olympic medal color,” Rot replied, “but does it have a winning taste? I’d hardly call silver a champion flavor.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to crush grapes. If that sounds unnecessarily cruel, then I guess you wouldn’t like to pour you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used for pressing grapes into wine, and a magician could then cover up that wine with a blanket… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I let wine breathe. And I hold my breathe, so it can get all the air.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Wine enhances your beauty by making others look at you differently. Well, so long as they are the ones drinking it. If… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is like an empty bottle of wine. If you’re wondering, my ex wife drank it all.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I decide to order wine, despite the fact that I don’t like it. But just because I don’t enjoy it is no… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll give you a glass of wine, if you give me a few drops of water from your eyes. I’m thirsty for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
