“A blanket could be used to what the hell your way out of your neighbor’s bedroom.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cover up my modesty. And used to cover up my nakedness. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as wrapping paper, to give the gift of a cat. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to stop a war, particularly if that war is a Cold War. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cause global warming. If you don’t want to future generations to die, I’d recommend shivering in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a smothering agent, sort of like an employee of the NSA. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to show people the benefits of sleeping with a parachute—especially if you’ve got a flying bed like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But what if that bleeding is figurative? In that case, I’d recommend a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brown blanket could be used in place of chocolate frosting on a cake, and since nobody will want to eat it,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to lay down the law. Lay it down over there, on top of the bed, and I’ll… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must! ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to keep an iceberg warm. People are so selfish and want to stop global warming. Well, if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used like a giant piece of paper. Most people just want to cum on it, but occasionally someone… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I was too blind to hear. I’m hungry for a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to ward off warts. I tested it out last Tuesday on my Aunt Velma, and she doesn’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to rob a bank. Guns are so Bonnie and Clyde, but a blanket bank robbery has a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to stop terrorism. Unless that terrorist has a small knife, or really sharp teeth, and is able… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to keep yourself warm, and a blanket could be used in the construction of a house. But… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to announce your intention to announce your intentions. Make sure the blanket is neon orange though, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to keep me single. Not that I need any help from anybody or anything to stay single.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick and a blanket can be used as reasons to go on searching, when you’ve found all the obvious applications for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to find the Brick of Truth. Many lies will be layered on the Brick of Truth to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used in surgery. But personally, I’d rather use a surgeon. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a tablecloth, and a brick left as a tip. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used, or it could not be used. They are opposites, but that doesn’t mean one is good and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cover up your infidelity. Either use the blanket to hide your cheating ways, or figure out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to stop a train. Another good thing to use would be brakes. I’ll sell you a set… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket, no matter how thin, could be sliced thinner, and in this way one blanket could be used to keep a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
