“She had no mind, but I didn’t mind, because she had a body like an upside down question mark.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love isn’t the last thing on my mind. The last thing on my mind is my skull.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bah, Alzheimer’s. Grandma wouldn’t be so forgetful if she didn’t always have dick on her mind.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be twirled in the air, like a new idea in your mind, and then either discarded or folded up… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My employer made me take a drug test. I got them all the answers right except for Viagra. On that question my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket can be a meditation device. If the blanket is white, and you stare at it, you can blank out your… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Back when I was a competitive swimmer, I used to dream of going to the Olympics. But then I changed my mind,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“For most Americans, money and calories are always on their minds, although they burn too much of one, and not enough of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want a trophy that has atrophy—where the maquette on top isn’t sculpted metal, but rather a flaccid sack of jelly that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I carry all of my childhood memories in my mind. But maybe that’s not the best place for them. Well, you’ve got… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A book is a vacation for the mind. My books will take you inside my mind, so feel free to make yourself… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I run through all the positive character qualities in my mind, and assign myself a number from 1-10 on where I think… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Stacks of vitamins in a soapy sink. Shh, don’t talk to me while I think. Don’t look while I stuff your yummy… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Lead is to lead as follow is to follow. And lead is to lead as a type of metal is to a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Every time the wind blows I think of her. I wonder if I could generate electricity off my yearning. Maybe a mind… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The Builders are building with you in mind, dear citizen, so don’t worry your tiny mind about whether the bricks they are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Is it better to win over the hearts and minds of the people, or imprison them and torture them into telling you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to share my thoughts with you. Press your forehead firmly against mine, and let my mind transfer to yours. You… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Of all the smiths from goldsmiths to John Smiths, the most powerful is the wordsmith, because he can influence your emotions and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love with all your heart. And the rest of your body. Oh, and your mind, too.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My writing looks like it’s ten steps behind my mind, and racing to always catch up.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your hand.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I have to be in two places at once, my mind at once decides twice which one place to be in.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Most people wear mind blindfolds. I think that’s stupid. I wear blindfolds over my eyes.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“No matter how far or long you carry it, my love doesn’t weigh a lot. But if you aren’t carrying it with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used like a giant piece of paper. Most people just want to cum on it, but occasionally someone… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I close my eyes and feel the texture of brick on my fingers in my mind. I try to imagine the wall… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes no words come as a response, only shapes spring to mind. But after you tell me you love me, I can’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What’s on my mind? I could say you, but we both know I'd be lying. Actually, I'm only pretending that you aren't… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
