“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I know her name. I remember because I forgot. That’s one of the joys of love. Well, two of the joys.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I tried to mail our love, it’s irregular shape and unknowable dimensions would make it difficult to box up. That’s why… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll put some ice in your coffee, to cover up the fact that it was already cold and old. I do this… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is a bridge between your future and mine. A bridge constructed entirely out of trust, honesty, and in our case, wooden… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“For breakfast I want a bowl of sugar with some corn flakes sprinkled on top. Then I want to make sweet love… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We made love like water makes life, and thinking about it makes me so horny I’m thirsty. My cup runneth over, but… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The moment I heard her name I fell in love. Of course I fell in love with the wrong name, so I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You looked so beautiful that I felt compelled to say something. So I said, “The fish… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Water always flows downhill. So does my love. Are you prepared for a flood? You’d better build an ark.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m growing a love seat in my heart. It’s leather and covered in fur, from a mix up with my cat’s back,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love isn’t a series of slogans like “Just do it,” “It’s the real thing,” or “Go ahead, stick it in my butt.”… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am an orange construction cone, and I say to you, “Caution.” This is my advice for love—and for driving while blindfolded,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bits. It was the best sex I’ve… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love had an exact location, it would be the spot where silence meets noise. Love balances the calm and the chaotic… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll agree with you if you promise to argue with me. That’s what love is, right?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is the hero of all emotions. My love for you is a superhero, and it looks great hidden behind a mask.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I clench your love in my butt cheeks, along with all my hard-earned cash.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
