“Love is yesterday’s tomorrow, minus the frozen musical notes, soggy teabags, and political opposition from your own embryonic offspring.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a fan of Meatloaf. He has a voice like it’s covered in thick gravy. There’s nothing better to make love to,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I was trying to dissect love like it was a frog, and you were trying to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is being able to be yourself, with another human being who makes you want to be better than yourself.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love doesn’t have form (aside from your naked body), but it does have a shape. The shape of love is circular, like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I talk about love, people listen. And when I listen about love, people talk.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t make love. But I do have it made in China. It’s just more cost effective.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Pants don’t walk without legs in them. Let that be a lesson in love.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I put gloves on before I put gloves on, so I don’t get my gloves dirty.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is a gift you receive by giving. The more love you give, the more love you get. Try it out today,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Everybody knows love is a universal language, but not many people know it only has 22 letters. Love can say more with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to wrap up all the love I have to offer you, so it’ll be easier for you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I collected dust, I wouldn’t mind if I got dust on it. My collection would grow and accumulate naturally. Probably my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I asked for her hand in marriage, but instead got the whole body. Love is full of surprises!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love sounds like an elephant weighs. I know, because I’ve seen it with my own two nostrils. I’ve grown fat on the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you want me to have sex with you, I’ll have sex with you. If you want me to love you, I’ll… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The girl I’m in love with told me she’s moving on. Should I cry or scream? Or should I make a new… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He’s half blind,” Orafoura said. “Oh,” I said, “he’s only got one eye? They call that a Cyclops.” “No, he’s got two eyes,”… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The only reason I don’t know more about love is because there just isn’t more to know. In fact, I’ve reduced love… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those flashlights, but I’m much more romantic.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
