“I opened my wallet and gave him a coupon, hoping he’d open his wallet and give me money.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Capitalist cycle of profit. The rancher sells a cow for profit. The butcher sells cuts for profit. The restaurant sells meals for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Pizza as a reward at work, gotta love it. Personally, I'd rather have that than a raise. Give me a pizza, boss,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s been said that you make as much money as the average income of your five closest friends. Well, I have no… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t understand why you don’t trust me. It’s not like you have a reason to not trust me. So, lend me… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“For most Americans, money and calories are always on their minds, although they burn too much of one, and not enough of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I launder dirty money. You should see my washing machine. (It’s filthy!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I didn’t have time to bury the money. All my precious time was taken up burying the body. I should have left… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I was a concierge, I didn’t want a guest’s gratitude. I wanted gratuity. A thank you and a warm smile are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My first inclination is to make my business all about me, but my second instinct is to make my business all about… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“One of the most productive ways a government can spend money on the people is by building more prisons. That’s what makes… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What the government makes to make money is money. They make money by making money—literally printing it. While the private sector has… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do onto others what others won’t do for themselves. If they won’t save their money, I’ll save their money for them.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relationships. Ask yourself two… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Knowing more people is not important in growing your business. However, more people knowing you is the key to wealth. Be a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help America make money. Trust me, this is smarter than letting a central bank like the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m rich in poverty. I got no money coming out of my ass. I’m up to my neck in broke.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Most men want sex, without the kids or commitment. I want sex, but I don’t want to have to pay any money.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I did a charity walk the other day. They asked for money, and I walked.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Any celebrity will tell you there’s no money in being invisible. But any bank robber will tell you there’s all the money… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s money to be made with a name like Cash. I should print myself into popularity.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dating is all about getting to know somebody, without wasting a lot of time or money. What is the price of love?… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Tanks are so big and expensive they should be Buy One Get One Free. If they were, I’d buy 60 of them… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
