“A crime scene is a silent witness that speaks louder and clearer than any human. Just ask Helen Keller.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is as loud as it can be while still being silent. Would you describe our relationship as Helen Kelleresque” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m not Helen Keller—I’m Van Gogh. It’s not that I can’t hear, it’s that I don’t use my ears.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Helen Keller, she just can’t see how much I love her. Also, she acts like she can’t hear my crying out for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I describe love to an emotional Helen Keller, I usually say it has four legs, fur, and possesses the ability to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The human voice isn’t like water,” I shouted. “You can’t drown out somebody just by raising the level.” But it was useless.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Cheyenne is shyin’ away from me. Why, Oming? I love you like a herd of buffalo that’s gone the way of what… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wear loud clothes. They aren’t bright colors, but I do have speakers sewn into my shirts. What can I say, I’ve… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People say the sun is too bright. I say the sun is too silent. And that’s saying something, considering I’m a Helen… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It was 7 AM, so what else could I say but, “Have a great night.” Plus, he was as blind as Helen… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Don’t breathe on my voice, I yelled through my ears. But who’s there to listen, when you’re all alone and wearing earplugs.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you’re an invisible person, of course you’re going to dress ostentatiously and flamboyantly, so people will finally start seeing you. I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Eleven levitating leviathans couldn’t spell seven if you spotted them the Even and the S. They also couldn’t spell leopard if you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I was too blind to hear. I’m hungry for a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hear what you say in what you don’t say, you see, because I’m a Helen Keller kind of communicator. Love is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love sounds like an elephant weighs. I know, because I’ve seen it with my own two nostrils. I’ve grown fat on the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make people smile. But the blanket won’t make just anyone smile—it will make people with no… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I were deaf, I’d wear loud clothing. My clothes would also be covered in coffee stains, because Helen Keller is my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Word of mouth is often louder than word of hand, although applause can be deafening. I clap like Helen Keller drank coffee—with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In my view, a Cyclops is halfway to being blind. Love sees all. When someone insults me and I go silent, I’m… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If my father were Cupid, and my mother were Helen Keller, I suppose I probably would subscribe to the notion that “Love… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Ryan Lilly is a Seth Godin fan, and that says something. Being a Helen Keller fan speaks volumes about me as a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to buy designer sunglasses and change my name to The Lunar Child III. It would make me a better lover,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I smile, not only do my ears rise, but so does my listening ability. When my mouth goes all Helen Keller,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The world is my canvas, and my ponytail is my paintbrush. Helen Keller probably had a ponytail too, though my art has… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to spot the blind. I’d spot Helen Keller nine points in a ten-point basketball game. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love has a sound, if you know what to listen for. It sounds like silence, surrounded by blindness. It’s the Helen Keller… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am Helen Keller, and so are all my senses. Now that is complete nonsense!” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I ran a few miles, Davis, and they were musical. Then I made love like the sound of a trumpet, as heard… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My window of opportunity had blinds in it. Helen Keller and friends were standing there waving at me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Who wants to be the unsung heroes of my voiceless choir quartet? We’re the Helen Kellers, and I’m holding auditions with oven… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I just invented a new light that shuts off automatically when an ugly person walks in the room. Guaranteed to help them… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In a blind study conducted by jarodkintz.com, 8 out of 10 people were fans of Helen Keller. 2 out of the 10… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She’s ultra conservative, while I am ultraviolet. I would show, but I’m beyond what anybody can see. I made her look like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“How would you define love to an eight-year-old aardvark from Argentina who hears angularly, rather than linearly? I don’t know, but let… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
