“Before job interviews, I think: What color tie best represents me as a person this company would be interested in?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A farm is a business, and I ran mine into the ground. The next year it grew back.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a designer. I’m trying to design a half a person, but I’m looking for a business partner, a female who’ll contribute… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“John Nobody, a Nobody Inc. spokesperson, declined to comment. Or prove his existence or the existence of the company he may or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The business of business is people, not products or services. Take care of the people, and the people will take care of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made you a logo. It’s supposed to represent you as a person, and that’s why it looks like an asshole. I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My first inclination is to make my business all about me, but my second instinct is to make my business all about… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am excited to report that I may have gotten a job as an elevator attendant. It's a three-flight elevator, and my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be your new best friend. If this appeals to you, it’s probably because people tend to seek the company… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t understand open relationships. My relationship is like a normal business at 5:01 pm: very much closed.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Too many abused beers have suffered in the name of networking. Let us find a better way to mix torture and business.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Knowing more people is not important in growing your business. However, more people knowing you is the key to wealth. Be a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem more real.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Business idea: Merge a billiard table with a golf course, and make the pockets as deep as a typical politician's pants.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a logo for a company called Blanket. A right turn signal in the left turn only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I went into the prosthetic limb business, I’d charge an arm and a leg.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A hotel is more than bricks and blankets. A hotel is a welcoming atmosphere, and a place to engage in a business… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. We started a shoe company, and a competitor (probably someone from Nike) attacked you,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“With my wedding photography business, I want repeat customers. So hooray for divorce! That’s why I take lots of pictures—of cheating spouses.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Crying about the economy is a strategy. It won’t get you a job, but it will keep Kleenex in business.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I went to a networking event once. I passed out before I passed out my business cards. My business was called Blacked… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I oft go to a loft aloft in the sky. I go alone, because I enjoy the company of a lofty intellect.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some of the higher-ups in the organization don’t know anything about the company—including which floor they are on (the top one). It… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Networking is like fishing. Just give some beer and a boat and I’ll be in business.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
