“On Halloween I like to scare up business the old fashioned way: with flyers, business cards, and electroshock therapy while wearing spooky… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My father says I have a knack for business. And he should know, because he’s been bankrupt several times.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I own a business, I work for myself. And if I have no revenue, I work for free. That’s not slavery.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can draw like it’s nobody’s business. I use my door as a canvas, so don’t knock, because it’s nobody’s business.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If your name is Alex Andrew Aaron, and you are a straight-A student, is it because your initials are AAA, because your… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My business associate said, “OK, Jarod, let’s talk turkey.” And I said, “If you want to talk turkey, you’ll have to wait… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My dreams and ambitions kept me company on the way there, and despair and regret were passengers on my return trip. I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I work for a mom and pop business. They’re my mom and pop, and by work I mean they give me an… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“With any new business deal, don’t think about how much you can afford to get—think about how much you can afford to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t care that I no longer have my grandma to keep me company at the dining room table. Especially since she… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best salespeople are not salespeople, they’re people who’ve not only bought the product, but also bought into the idea of the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Ben had never seen another hotel quite like The Mandrake. The valets were all dressed like Roman Centurions, the Doorman was dressed… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll buy your product and then return your product, and tell you to keep my money, so it feels more like a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I rode my horse to the saloon, but it was out of business. The cowboy I spoke with said the bartender served… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A hammer alone on a coffee table doesn’t kill someone. But a man in a business suit with hemorrhoids might. How that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Business idea: People like to eat and drive, so why not make edible cars? Instead of gasoline, they’d run on coffee.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I think Starbucks would go out of business if more people were to Superglue their eyelids open when they felt tired.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Working in the hotel business I have learned a lot about people. It’s amazing what you can discover about someone by watching… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I had a hand for a penis, would a hand job be appropriate in place of a handshake at business meetings? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I do a lot of business with businesses. And I do a lot of business with individuals. And guess what? It turns… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
