“I can’t talk you out of what your heart is set on. I just hope you set it on the shelf, next… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can read until you’re blue in the face, but I’d recommend writing until you’re red in the face. And ass.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“No bears were molested in the making of this book. Well, no live bears.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I just wrote the book of love. Well, I coauthored it with Cupid and Nicholas Sparks.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People are like books. You can either read them, or you can burn them. But before I try to read you, I’ve… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This book does not exist. And even if it did, it wouldn’t be worth buying or reading.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The headline read, Man Saves Child From Burning House, and I just have to ask: Why did that kid want to burn… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Rather than change the content of my book, I changed the font. I think it made my book funnier.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Reading a book is like having the ability to dip a straw into the author’s soul and sip and slurp without lowering… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Today I ate my manuscript with the very spoon I used to write it with. My book was called “Chicken Noodle Soup… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some people read books on musicians, while I read music books. Not books on music, but literally books full of sheet music.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“For your birthday I’ll give you 100 copies of your least favorite author’s book, and they’ll all be autographed. Now, should I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The bad news is most of my books are ebooks and aren't for sale in brick-and-mortar bookstores. The good news is that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am fun, friendly, and I know how to use the third comma in a list of three distinct items or things.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The country with the most writers is ironically probably the country with the least readers—USA. And once my parents die, my entire… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This book has nothing to do with cats. Or mice. Or self-motivation. This book is 100% 50% finished. But don’t worry, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bestseller doesn’t necessarily mean good writer. I think it takes 10,000 book sales to make the bestseller’s list, and at about 9… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My dream as a boy was to write a coloring book, but the nagging problem was always, How do you write a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to price my next book and adjust it for the coming hyperinflation. So instead of the normal one dollar price,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can’t charge you 99 cents for a book called 99 Cents For Some Nonsense, because that would make sense. However, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I told you that my global audience has shot up 100% in the last six months, what would you say? If… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If laughter came in paste format you could squeeze out of a tube, I’ll bet nine out of ten dentists would recommend… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Most people have a list of 100 books to read before they die, or 100 places to visit. Not me. I have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best description of this book is found within the title. The full title of this book is: "This is the story… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Have you ever wanted to learn Geometry, Calculus, Physics, German, and the mystical teachings of Orafoura? Well, now you can! Just not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This book is destined to make waves no matter which ocean you throw it into. This is the first book Jarod's put… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
