“Before bed I do a bit of light reading. I’m reading a 50-pound book on midgets.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My new book is going well. It’s practically writing itself! Actually, what I mean is I’m not writing it, my clone is.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s not lit, it’s literature. Lit is something a book can be, after you’ve decided to burn it. (I suggest you start… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I sped-read through a book that probably weighed a pound, though I only gleaned about nine ounces of information. That's because it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I put Chap Stick on before I read, because my lips move along with my eyes. Maybe when I’m a stronger reader,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have lots of pictures. Those pictures… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I’ll read a book and feel it was written just for me. Then I’ll flip the book over to look at… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When people say they don’t read, I always wonder if they don’t because they can’t or because they won’t. Then I think,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to type one of my books into a free online translation website, and convert it from English to German and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to write a book called Kissing Kissinger. It won’t be about kissing, Kissinger, or even politics. It’ll be about radiator… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m working hard to edit my book, so I can get it up for sale so that nobody can rush out and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help you write the book you’ve always wanted to write. That is, if you wanted to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are lots of great ideas in my book, but as a cohesive unit, my book is only held together with glue… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I think a great book title would be “Ida Says ‘I do’ in Idaho.” It would be about a divorce in Washington… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket would be a great surface to print my new book on, so you could read it in bed while you’re… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I first heard Twilight was a book about vampires that sparkled in the light and shape shifters/wolves eager to assist the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are certain books in the history of the world that should never have been written. This book makes all those look… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If it’s not already written, I want to write a book called, “The Art of Raw.” But instead of using my real… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“An author named Arthur Arthurson would write about art, love, and road kill in Kenya. And I’d read him because I’m a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wrote half this book (the left half) while I was asleep, and I wrote the other half (the top half) while… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A book is a vacation for the mind. My books will take you inside my mind, so feel free to make yourself… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I went through and underlined all the funny lines in his book, and by the time I was done, I had underlined… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“More people are leaving TV behind to read my books than ever before. In the last year alone I gained over two… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I love ebooks. I love the idea of storing books in “The Cloud”, because honestly, reading and rainy days go together like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I love in all directions, except southeast. Don’t ask me why, because I already told you where. Also, don’t ask me who,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What I like most about reading is I can read in minutes what it took the author hours to write. What I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People who collect books, and categorize them by Roy G. Biv instead of alphabetically, are displaying the fact that their books aren't… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are only two kinds of books worth keeping: Valuable books and valuable books. The first value is monetary, and the second… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to publish a book on toilet paper—not only about toilet paper, but actually print it on toilet paper. That way… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A writer must be a lifelong reader to be good. And if you want to be a great writer, I’d suggest trying… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m writing a book, one letter at a time. After thirteen days, I just finished writing “Once upon a time.” Since it’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A picture with one word on it is like a thousand-and-one-word piece of literature. At this rate, I should be done with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bio I never got around to using: Jarod is a best-selling author reader. He has given speeches in over .5 countries, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If this book looks like it took me 15 minutes to put together, that’s because it did! 30 seconds to write it,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My brakes sound like my horn, and my car’s bumper is bumpy enough to be brail. My ideal reader would be a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This book does not exist. And if that doesn’t deter you from buying it, then I’m also selling frozen alien flesh, a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Wooden scrabble letters offer a whole forest of literature, tiled down for easy shower installment. If you limit your use to only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You could say my book is the best book ever (or worst book ever), and it wouldn’t make it any better (or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop people from reading my book. Just place the brick on the book’s cover, to discourage… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Hooray! I finally finished making a new book cover. Now I just need to write the book. The cover is the image… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
