“There are certain books in the history of the world that should never have been written. This book makes all those look… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My dream as a boy was to write a coloring book, but the nagging problem was always, How do you write a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love, I wrote the book on it. Unfortunately, nobody would publish it, so I felt compelled to burn my manuscript.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I just wrote the book of love. Well, I coauthored it with Cupid and Nicholas Sparks.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Have you ever wanted to learn Geometry, Calculus, Physics, German, and the mystical teachings of Orafoura? Well, now you can! Just not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I went through and underlined all the funny lines in his book, and by the time I was done, I had underlined… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You told me you circled three words in three books scattered in the Library of Alexandria,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help you write the book you’ve always wanted to write. That is, if you wanted to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This book does not exist. And even if it did, it wouldn’t be worth buying or reading.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back before eating them.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My favorite smells are freshly baked bread, the pages of an old book, and they way my boss’ ass smells when he’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bio I never got around to using: Jarod is a best-selling author reader. He has given speeches in over .5 countries, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to write a book called Kissing Kissinger. It won’t be about kissing, Kissinger, or even politics. It’ll be about radiator… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My TV’s remote control didn’t have a source of energy, so I poured coffee in it. Now I can read any book… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to price my next book and adjust it for the coming hyperinflation. So instead of the normal one dollar price,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We’ll make plans on sticky notes and we’ll stick to them. We’ll get married, but only after we buy some milk, cereal,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I think a great book title would be “Ida Says ‘I do’ in Idaho.” It would be about a divorce in Washington… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I enjoy reading books by way of subtitles from the movies they got made into.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
