“A blanket could be used to stop a war, particularly if that war is a Cold War. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Is it any wonder that war is senseless? It’s started by politicians. As a class, politicians have no class, and even less… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to warn your enemy that you are coming—and that you are warm. Where’s the cold war when… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to start a civil war. And then that same brick could be used to start building the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When the war comes, you’ll find me on the front line, with some crayons, coloring outside the lines.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to declare war on a country made of glass. I’ll bet those citizens would love to drink… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If my legs get blown off in war, I’d like to have them replaced with a coffee table. Half man/half furniture, I’ll… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I think a cool war helmet is painted with red and white concentric circles, exactly like a bull’s eye. But I’m not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to put the war in warm. Just paint the blanket like an American flag, and then try… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to teach geography to a sleeping man. Better do it quick, before he wakes up and finds… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to simulate a war opponent. Especially if your nemesis is paraplegic and without transportation. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I call my thumb Napoleon, because I rarely ever lose a thumb war. Also because my thumb's so small, and I wear… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can believe history books when they tell you when wars were fought. You just can’t trust them as to why.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s hard to hear over the racket of gunfire. Politicians want to talk about war, but the people want to talk about… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to sell war to the peacemongers. The trick is to sell war cheap, because the real profit… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I was once in a battle trying to fight my way out when I realized it’s better to sneak out.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Instead of selling other countries weapons, we should sell them candles. Maybe then instead of singing the praises of war, they’d start… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If you could change War’s name, do you think you’d change its nature?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do not oppose my opposable thumbs. If you do, we’ll have a thumb war.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop war. Logically, a non-brick could be used to start a war. The most common non-brick… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Only men who have crouched in the trenches under heavy machine gun fire, and then rose as one to charge the perceived… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a shield, in a fight with a cold shower. I know, because I won that battle… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In a battle, an army of farts would surely beat an army of noses, even if those noses were armed with fingers… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to foil slave traders. But so could tinfoil and leftover meatloaf. Geez, the whole Civil War could… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am Cloud “Combat” McCloud. Fear my thunder! Love my chicken tenders.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I had the word “war” in my last name, like “Flowar,” I’d probably be a peaceful guy.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a protective coating, like a tank. It’s called Love. And when I get you naked, I’ll want to make war… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Too much coffee has been spilled in the name of war. Let us love and savor every drop.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Know yourself better than your opponent knows you, know your opponent better than he knows himself, know yourself better than you know… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
