“If science took my IQ and spread it evenly among the world's population, like mental mayonnaise, we'd have more art, less war,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to start a civil war. And then that same brick could be used to start building the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If my legs get blown off in war, I’d like to have them replaced with a coffee table. Half man/half furniture, I’ll… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“War is fought over futile and feudal things. War is not about ideology, no matter how artfully framed, but it’s simply about… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to put silencers on all guns. That way war will be nothing more than a whisper in the future. And… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a shield, in a fight with a cold shower. I know, because I won that battle… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A book on war is useful, but it’d be even more useful if it could shoot bullets. Or stop them. Or stop… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to sell war to the peacemongers. The trick is to sell war cheap, because the real profit… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to perpetually feed the hungry, stop all wars, educate the masses, and ensure everlasting peace for all… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to foil slave traders. But so could tinfoil and leftover meatloaf. Geez, the whole Civil War could… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
