I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m exercising my right to free speech, because it used to be obese. For years all it did was sit on the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A fan can be used as a listening device, pushing sound waves towards your ears, along with cool air. I listen harder… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I talk about love, people listen. And when I listen about love, people talk.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Walk around with an open can of tuna in your pocket. You know, for a way to start conversations and offer strangers… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I didn’t list listening as one of my skills, probably because I didn’t hear what the interviewer asked.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a murderer. I killed the conversation. She said she loved me, and I said, “If you love me, wait until you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you, and 50% of my time with others, because you get… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Don’t be surprised if I try to stab you with a club sandwich sword. I will defend your right to free speech… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as Concealment Revealer. It both conceals and reveals, like great dialogue. Here’s some great dialogue I wrote… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In a victory speech, I like to thank the opposition, because without their help, I couldn’t have won.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I love body language, because I can speak it without talking, without listening, and while my back is turned.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A two-headed man should have twice the IQ, and the ability to have internal dialogues externally.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dialogue between two characters, each of them different forms of karate, might be a bit choppy.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I fill my life with speech, but not with people who are truly listening.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I go to the bar, I never drink much. And to do that I avoid conversations, as silence reduces saliva and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My wife won’t talk to me, but that’s OK, because it’s not like I’d listen if she did.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I smile, not only do my ears rise, but so does my listening ability. When my mouth goes all Helen Keller,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I’m having a conversation with my clone, am I having an interior dialogue externally?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It’s easy to operate. Just go to a party, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I won an Oscar. I Won it in a raffle. It’s a replica, but I still gave a teary-eyed acceptance speech. I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Is my conversation putting you to sleep, or is the rufie I slipped in your dog food finally starting to kick in?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
