“A brick could be used to soften resistance. Smash the opposition into a pulp! ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop a murder. Just wedge it in front of the door of the murderer, and enclose… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a stand in for something to stand on, when a ladder’s on location in another location. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a door handle. On an all-brick house this would be great, but on an all-brick car… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as man’s best friend, if you covered it in fur and taught it to bark and shit… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as the ultimate bug crusher. But why you’d use a brick as a shoe, I have no… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as an AFD, or Atmospheric Floating Device, whose sole function is to make people ask WTF? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to paint a mural of your favorite politician. It doesn’t matter how accurate it is, just so… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to build a future with me. Come, let’s start a life together. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to suppress certain groups of people, particularly those individuals who are too weak to stand up and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a symbol for the kind of life I’m trying to build. The question now is, what… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop potential terrorist plots. But it sure would be more effective if I could just record… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to wade into dangerous territory with a man named Wade who builds houses made only of wood.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used like March 5th marches in a marching band. And guess what, as the marching band director, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to keep yourself warm, and a blanket could be used in the construction of a house. But… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to decorate a house. And not just one brick, thousands could be stacked and affixed together and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to gauge the level of reciprocated sexual interest of the person or object of your desire. A… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help defeat all incumbent politicians whose last name starts with Brj and anything after that alphabetically.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in the same manner as a magician’s hat could be used as a basketball. I’m not suggesting… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a hammer. A brick could be both a tool and a building material in the construction… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used like sandpaper, to smooth out a cat’s rough tongue. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to divide two people, and then conquer both of them. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as food for thought. Every politician should chew on that. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to satisfy your hunger—and satisfy my curiosity. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to build a house—or destroy it, one window at a time. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to locate the precise coordinates of the Masons. Just follow the bricks—and follow the money. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
