“A brick could be used to get a new job. Hire me! I have a brick, and I’m not afraid to use… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, because you really bummed me out, man. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in a smash and grab. Well, at least in the smashing aspect. A blanket would be more… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a flotation device, if you’re Michael Phelps and don’t need it. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a way to motivate yourself to succeed. I’m proof that it works. It’s how I managed… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a logo for a company called Blanket. A right turn signal in the left turn only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help define your rigid beliefs. I put my beliefs to bed, along with the hooker I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make life easier. Start carrying one around with you everywhere you go, and you’ll see what… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help teach teenagers to tie their shoes. Honestly, if they are so stupid that they haven’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make it harder for people to achieve their dreams. A brick is just another obstacle they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to disguise the fact that I’m blushing. Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed! Don’t look at the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a scapegoat. But don’t blame the brick. The brick didn’t kill my mother-in-law. It was merely… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in place of a diamond on a wedding ring. Your wife's probably going to divorce you and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to represent the state of Kansas. Both are flat, both are rectangular, both have tried to insert… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to control whole populations of people. Just get a good looking person, like a news anchor, to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could used to translate and transform long cuneiform texts into shorter tweets. Sure, just take the brick and smash the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a musical instrument. But it would take someone as deaf as Beethoven to enjoy it. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as the lead singer of a band called “The More Interesting Than.” I would say get Miley… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to smash my bottled up rage, and a blanket could be laid down beforehand to catch the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to trick a snake into leaving your pet mouse alone. That way you’re free to use the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to motivate. Just hold it up as an example of something that’s going nowhere in life. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“One brick could be used to do the work of two men, if both men are dead. In this case, a blanket… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to test how fast you throw a baseball, if, you know, baseballs were cube-shaped and integral to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to win the love of a beautiful girl. The trick to getting it to work is just… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of her, so why not a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to encourage trees to grow fruitful things like money. If money grew on trees, then I’d get… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to cook with, as a thickening agent in gravy. But as history proves, the thickest agents work… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to bring about a pantsless revolution. A zipper is just a gate holding you back, man. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to direct traffic. Use a brick from the scene of the accident, where some driver ran into… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to foretell the future. And from all indicators, 2013’s going to be a blanket of a year. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a marketing tool. I’ll help you grow your business, if you help me plant this brick… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to remind me of you. Of course, so could a photograph, but how am I supposed to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to save humanity from mortality. Or at least save us from mortar. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in the back part of a director’s last name, to make an epic space odyssey. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a trophy at your company’s annual award ceremony. It’s a way to save money while making… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to sell a blanket, in a buy one get one free situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to float a good idea at work—especially if it’s a good idea that would be bad for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to prop open the door to my heart. But you might not want to leave the Love… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in religious ceremonies. After all, it is slightly better than using live human sacrifices.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used instead of a red light. They’re both red, and I’d run both with equal fervor. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
