Michael Phelps Quote by Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.
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— Jarod Kintz

“I can’t swim, because despite my love being shaped like Michael Phelps, it’s so heavy it’s like an anti flotation device. If I can…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used as a floating object that dispensed fresh water, if only it were lighter and shaped like a cloud.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used as an AFD, or Atmospheric Floating Device, whose sole function is to make people ask WTF?
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used like the point where always meets never. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to watch a brick levitate?…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to float a good idea at work—especially if it’s a good idea that would be bad for you personally.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used in a levitation demonstration. The best way to keep it afloat, along with the American Dream, is with debt…

— Jarod Kintz

“Bricks could be used to pad the pockets of crooked politicians. Why stuff their greedy pockets with cash, when we could load them up…

— Jarod Kintz

“If I ever meet Michael Phelps, I’m going to tell him that I am that Michael Phelps of random thoughts. Then I’ll challenge him…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used for a calf muscle implant for a bodybuilder who wants a competitive edge.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be crushed, mixed with water, and drunk like a sports drink. And hey, with no bromated vegetable oil, it’s healthier than…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to sell tickets to a new sport called Glurping. If you think it sounds disgusting now, wait until you…

— Jarod Kintz