“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Me and my girlfriend aren’t a good fit. Her clothes are much too small for me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When your clothes are aren’t, I’ll be there trying to get invisible with you.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wear clothing made out of green screen material, because then I can go chameleon when I edit the photo. And chameleon… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t dress like I have any money. And I don’t have any money, which helps enable me to dress like that.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m half naked. The question is not, Am I getting dressed or undressed? the question is, Am I a half-noble savage, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt, especially when I’m in the car.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If what you wear says more about who you are then what you say when you speak, then my advice is to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have the mannerisms of a mannequin. If you want to see me naked, you’re going to have to buy the clothes… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Fashion Tip Number 12: Gray is not the color to wear if you want to get noticed in a smoky, dingy dungeon.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I could adorn myself with a question, I’d wear a where. It would never go out of style, because location is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m growing out my baldness, and a mustache. Combined with spectacles (glasses), I’ll be a spectacle. I’ll proudly wear my absurdity like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s no room in my life for a woman. I mean I live in a closet, and I suppose I could squish… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m so shy that if you played “Guess The Mannequin” with me and two mannequins, you’d pick me, because I’m the quiet… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I designed a dress out of scotch tape. If you wear my dress, you can be dressed and undressed at the same… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The elevator wasn’t empty; it was full of fragrance. The perfume that lingered smelled like my past. Starting tomorrow, to focus on… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It also must be hard to have a wife like Mrs. Indianapolis. She’s in the fashion industry. She’s not a model or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll buy you a dress at half price, and hopefully half as much cloth was used and it’s twice as short as… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
